Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Dead Men Don't Sing

Could be in your car with the radio on;
Could be tuned in to our favorite song.
Could be caroling with my hand in yours;
Ringing bells and knocking on doors.
Could be crying cause we had a fight;
Could be dancing in the rain all night.
But dead men don't sing;
Dead men don't sing.
Don't tell me all your dreams went up in flames,
And there's no point in trying again;
Don't you know I'll miss you if you're gone?
Don't tell me that you're burned out,
And all you got from life was doubt;
Is that all that you think our friendship was?
Dead men can't say a thing;
So sing, sing, sing.
So sing, sing, sing.

Could be on your bed with your eyes closed;
Could be running off, crying all alone.
Could be with your friends at 2am,
Feeling like your life's put together again.
Could be out of tune because you've been ill;
Could be quiet because the air's so still.
But dead men don't sing;
Dead men don't sing.
Don't tell me all your dreams went up in flames,
And there's no point in trying again;
Don't you know I'll miss you if you're gone?
Don't tell me that you're burned out,
And all you got from life was doubt;
Is that all that you think our friendship was?
Dead men can't say a thing;
So sing, sing, sing.
So sing, sing, sing.

Saturday, December 12, 2015

Making Friends '15

It's so strange to call you friend,
When I've never heard you laugh,
And I've never seen your smile, 
And I've never shook your hand.
All I have are words
From the past four months,
And a little bit of trust,
And a little bit of fun.
I've told you things I shouldn't have;
Asked things I've no right to know.
I haven't met you yet,
And yet I miss you when you go.
We stay up late talking,
And I worry that it's wrong,
But then catch myself wondering
If you miss me when I'm gone.
I don't know why I trust you;
I don't trust easily.
I guess part of it comes
From you trusting me.
And I kind of want to meet you,
But I'm kind of afraid,
Because what if I'm not the friend
That you think you made?




Prayers

You're the kinda crazy
I like just enough
To put up with you
Night and day.
And I don't have all the answers,
But I still have some prayers left,
And I know that you're praying for me.
And I don't know how to cope
If you take away my hope,
And I just need to know
If you feel the same.
And I won't know how to cope
If you take away my hope,
And I just need to know
If you feel the same.
And I don't know how to cope
If you take away my hope,
And I just need to know
If you feel the same.
And I won't give up on me
If you don't give up on me;
If you don't give up on me;
Can you trust me?
Do you love me?
We don't have all the answers,
But we still have some prayers,
And I'm praying for you,
Because no matter what happens,
I'm always going to care.

Trying To Keep You Safe

I wouldn't call it giving up,
But it's time I let you go.
I've cared so much I cried at night,
But you don't need to know.
I don't know where it's coming from,
But it needs to go away;
I have to choose between loving you,
And trying to keep you safe.
Yes, my love, I trust you,
But I can't make you my crutch;
You have a life also,
And I'm treating you as such.
So I can't tell you everything,
If you really have to know,
And I'm not forsaking you,
Just... giving you space to grow.
If I can't stop from feeling,
I'll just keep it inside,
And though you'll never hear it,
This is my goodbye.

Friday, December 11, 2015

A Walk

Walking down the sidewalk,
My mind a perfect blank.
For a moment I don't care
What other people think.
The sky and trees and ground
Are everything I need,
And nobody I pass
Can take them away from me.
I wonder for a moment
If I'll ever go home,
Because with other people
I start to feel alone.
And I don't know how to tell you
That you're everything,
But even if I never do,
At least a girl can dream.
And if a dog passes,
I might just say hello,
And smile at his person
Before I let them go.
The sunshine makes me happy,
And the flowers, 
And the heat,
And if the swing set's feeling lonely,
I hope that we meet.


Your Hat

Well, this song pretty much sucks. This is what happens when you just want to write a song about someone putting a hat on your head, boys and girls. XP XD

I'm ready to go home,
But it's too soon to leave.*
I can't help but wish
You'd come sit across from me.
I don't know why I'm here;
I never should have come,
But it's not too late to prove
What I just said is wrong.
Come hang your hat on me,
And try to make me laugh;
All the lonely will be worth it,
If you just treat me like that.

The crowd feels thick as honey,
And the noise just seems to grow.
Even my closest friends
Feel like people I don't know.
I know I put myself here,
And I pushed them all away,
But a little voice inside me
Is begging them to stay.
I wished that you'd come over
And put your hat on my head,
Like in some kind of book
That I'm better for having read.

I have to close my eyes,
Just to keep myself sane,
But if you'd talk to me
You could take away this pain.
I'm dreaming of the things
That I would say if I could,
But I can't get out the words
That I know I should.
Put your hat on my head,
And maybe it will work again.
*Remind me what I mean
When I tell you you're my friend.*

*But it's not time to leave?
**Remind me what you mean when you tell me I'm you're friend?

Finally

(This has been waiting to be edited and it never was. It got tired of waiting for me and decided to tell its story itself.)

I give up;
I thought you cared,
But I don't anymore.
Honestly
Honesty
Is all I can afford.
Honesty and silence,
And a lack of self esteem,
Because every bit of pride I had
Was stripped away from me.
The happiness I felt
Wrapped in a warm hug;
The joy of loving someone,
And knowing I was loved.
The things I liked, like Christmas,
Easter, and Halloween...
Suddenly even everything
Means nothing to me.

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

How You Can Show Me That You Care



I think one of my biggest problems is I read to much into things. It's one of the reasons I'm so sensitive about being touched, I suppose. I've had trouble trying to explain my feelings on the subject to my friends, and it's lead most of them to think I just don't like being hugged or like dancing. I guess mostly I'm just not comfortable with how lightly they take those things, or how they don't seem to think they mean anything. I've always kind of felt like there's a reason behind everything we do, especially when it comes to how we deal with our fellow human beings -- both verbally and physically; you don't just hug or dance for no reason. I tend to wait for the right person to dance with or the right circumstance for hugging, which sometimes makes people think I'm cold and uncaring or don't like them or something. Maybe I'm the only one who feels this way. Anyway, here's this thing I wrote. XP

Don't touch me unless you know me;
Really know me, inside out,
And know what you're touch is saying --
Really saying, with no doubt.
It's not the hugs or hand shakes
Or the dancing I don't like;
It's the emptiness of meaning;
The blankness in the eyes.
It's the never ever knowing;
The not being understood.
Your touch is saying something,
So make it something good.
Don't stand too close to me;
Just give me room to breathe.
If I run off give me a moment,
Before coming after me.
I might be a little lonely;
I might need someone there,
But not at every passing moment.
That's how you can show me that you care.

I Said That I'd Be There For You...

I said that I'd be there for you,
But I can't keep you safe;
If I want to protect you,
Then I must go away.
I hurt people;
I hurt them,
Even when I care.
And the only times they need me
Are the times when I'm not there.
I can't say goodbye,
Because you'll never let me leave,
And the pain reflecting in your eyes
Will make my soul break and bleed.
I promised I would be there,
Like you've been there for me,
But you're better off without me;
At least, that's how it seems.
I'm nothing but a shadow;
A little patch of dark.
An icy patch,
A slippery patch,
A cold and dangerous mark.
My good is insignificant,
But my harm cuts sharp and deep,
And just knowing I could hurt you
Is making me lose sleep.
I said that I'd be there for you;
I'm so sorry I can't be.
But I have to leave while I still can
Leave you happy memories.

Thursday, October 1, 2015

What It Means To Hurt

I'm filling up with words
That I'm never going to say.
Turns out I was right;
No one's going to stay.
You disappear so quickly;
As quickly as you come,
And you almost had me thinking
That you would be the one.
The one who finally stayed.
I'm filling up with lonely
While I'm crushed by the crowd,
But there's a smile on my face;
I keep faking it somehow.
People carry on,
Carry on with their lives,
Acting as if they don't know;
As though everything's alright.
So much blood on our hands;
So much guilt in my head.
So many thinks I can't put into words;
So this is what it means to hurt.
I'm spending energy I don't have,
But it doesn't make sense,
Living like that;
Not wanting to move.
Barely able to breathe.
So choked up that you can't speak.
I look in the mirror,
And who do I see?
A total stranger that they say is me.
Who am I?
Who should I be?
How can I live
With so much dead in me?

It's Best If I Just Leave

(This is -- was -- the better song I thought up the other day. Or what's become of it. I loved this song, and now it feels like I killed it. I'm pretty sure it's almost completely different from the original. I want to tweak it and try to perfect it, but I probably never will because I'm afraid of making it worse. XP Oooooh well. Take it as it is. Maybe someone will love it and bring it back to life. Oh, and it's not a happy song, +Alena Grobien, so don't say I didn't warn you.)

You say that you'll love me
Forever and a day.
You're always going to be here;
You'll never go away.
You're honest and you're faithful;
You'll never lie or go astray.
So you say;
Or so you say.
But people lie or make mistakes;
Our hearts and minds tend to change.
We forget the things we say,
And break the promises we made.
We fall down or lose our way,
And it's so hard to trust anyone these days;
Maybe it's best if I just leave.
You love every word I say,
And the silence when I'm thinking.
You love the way I tilt my head
When I'm listening to you.
You love my nose, and my eyes,
And the way I bite my lip.
So you say;
Or so you say.
But people lie or make mistakes;
Our hearts and minds tend to change.
We forget the things we say,
And break the promises we made.
We fall down or lose our way,
And it's so hard to trust anyone these days;
Maybe it's best if I just leave.
You love pretending to fall asleep
Just to catch me watching you breathe.
You love walking in the cold,
So you can offer me your coat.
You love grabbing things I can't reach;
How I stand on tip toes to kiss your cheek.
So you say;
Or so you say.
But people lie or make mistakes;
Our hearts and minds tend to change.
We forget the things we say,
And break the promises we made.
We fall down or lose our way,
And it's so hard to trust anyone these days;
Maybe it's best if I just leave.
I love the way you hold my hand,
Like you're always ready to protect me.
I love the way you laugh,
Or purse your lips when you don't agree.
I love the way you read out loud,
Or wash the dishes when I'm too depressed to breathe.
I love you;
I love you in every way.
But people lie or make mistakes;
Our hearts and minds tend to change.
We forget the things we say,
And break the promises we made.
We fall down or lose our way,
And it's so hard to trust anyone these days;
Maybe it's best if I just leave.
It's so hard to see the tears in your eyes
As you watch me walk away,
And you're holding an umbrella,
So I know it's not the rain.
I hold out your coat,
But you won't take it from me,
Even though it's yours,
And you look like you're freezing.
You don't speak, or look at your feet,
But most of all, you don't leave.
Why am I doing what I'm doing,
When it feels like a mistake?
Because people lie and go away,
And I'm so afraid one of us will change;
That we'll forget what we said,
And break the promises we made.
I've fallen down; I've lost my way,
And I don't trust myself to keep you safe.
Maybe it's best if I just leave;
I can't hurt you if I leave.
It's best if I just leave;
It's best for you if I just leave.
But you'll always be a part of me.




Thursday, September 24, 2015

You're A Dream

(Came up with two songs today. One was really good, and one was this repetitive garbage. Unfortunately, this is the one I remembered to write down. XP I'll try to remember the other one later, but it will probably be a rewriting and maybe not as good as the original. XP)

You're a dream,
You're a dream,
You're a dream, baby.
Believe me, you're a dream,
You're a dream,
You're a dream, baby.
You're a dream,
You're a dream,
You're a dream, baby,
But you're not mine;
You're not my dream,
And that makes all the difference.
I'm not gonna pussy foot around it;
I'm not gonna lie,
Or hide the truth,
Or try to sugar coat it.
I feel as though there's been a misunderstanding,
And I just want to set this straight:
You're a dream,
You're a dream,
You're a dream, baby.
Believe me,You're a dream,
You're a dream,
You're a dream, baby.
You're a dream,
You're a dream,
You're a dream, baby;
But you're not mine;
You're not my dream,
And that makes all the difference.
So stop coming 'round,
Stop trying to find out
How you can change my mind.
Cuz I think you're swell;
I like you pretty well,
But I'm afraid you'll find
That you're a dream,
You're a dream,
You're a dream, baby.
Believe me, you're a dream,
You're a dream,
You're a dream, baby.
You're a dream,
You're a dream,
You're a dream, baby,
But you're not mine,
So stop wasting your time.

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

You Don't Know (What Love Is)

(May need further editing...? I didn't intend for this to have anything to do with Harry Potter but now it does. XP)

You don't know what love is;
I'm sorry, but it's true.
You don't know what love is,
Or what it does to you.
It changes you and breaks you,
And bends you out of shape;
Just take a look at what it did
To Severus the Snape.
You don't know what love is,
Or the things it makes you say;
You don't understand that love
Sometimes means you have to go away.

All These Stolen Rainbows

All these stolen rainbows,
Glorious as the sun,
Shining on the tear drops
That always seem to run.
All these stolen rainbows
With no place to go,
Gathered in the closet
With all these damaged hopes.
All these burning wings
From trying to fly to high
Cooling in the river
Falling from her eyes.
All these burning wings
Disappearing fast;
Like the way she used to smile,
And how she used to laugh.
All of these golden dreams
She no longer believes,
Because bitter, broken people
Convinced her they could never be.
All of these golden dreams
Melting in the sun,
Like the girl that she once was
And now she can't become.
So much that she can't change;
So much has gone wrong.
So many promised to stay;
All of them long gone.
So much that she can't change,
And she wishes she could go back;
Back to being strong,
When she took no flak.

Stolen rainbows,
And burning wings,
Replaced all her dreams
With things she couldn't change.
 

Good

I want you to believe I almost never lie;
Some truths are easier to tell when I don't look you in the eye.
And maybe I should learn to think before I speak,
But baby am I thinking of what's good for you or good for me?
Good just don't seem to mean what it used to,
But I believe there's always been something good in you.
And if I get the courage before I scare you away,
I'm gonna tell you something that right now I have no words to say.

Thursday, September 3, 2015

Maybe We'll Get It Right Next Time

Who are we to say we can't change when we've never tried?
Who are we to want to die before our time?
Who are we to think we can just cross the line?
Who are we to say that big girls never cry?
And maybe we define people wrong all the time;
I admire men who cry when someone dies.
And I'm not the only one to tell a lie,
But I can't justify wasting your time.
Still, who are you to say that I can never change if I only try?
And next time you want to fight I want to be on your side.
Maybe together we'll get it right next time.

Thursday, August 20, 2015

Some Goodbyes

Sometimes goodbyes are necessary;
Some goodbyes don't have to hurt.
Sometimes goodbyes are necessary;
Sometimes goodbye is just a word.
Sometimes goodbye is not forever;
Sometimes people do come back.
It's not the goodbye that's so hard;
It's the leaving that makes us feel so bad.
Sometimes goodbye is a good thing;
Sometimes staying's more harm than good.
But if I could avoid the goodbye,
Every single time I would.

Better

I'm walking in a bit of rain,
And I finally feel free again.
I'm gonna be okay,
If you'll only let me.
Nobody needs to get hurt;
Caring only makes it worse.
I know that you were here first,
But could you make room for this gypsy?
I swear that I'll move on soon,
And I may even forget about you,
But I'm giving you this rare chance to
Try to get to know me.
Try to get to know me better, better.
Could you try to get to know me better, better?
You should try to get to know me better, better.
Would you try to get to know me better, better?
I think I'm may be getting better, better,
I think I'm getting better every day.

Saturday, August 15, 2015

Golden Girl

You're a golden child
With an eroded smile,
And your heart's doubled over in pain.
He told you you were his everything,
But he doesn't wanna give you a ring.
I could fill a thousand pages
With all the sweet lies that he told,
But you don't care;
You only want him
To hold onto you, and never let go.
Darling, you're worth more than diamonds;
Friend, you're worth far more than gold.
Wait for a love that will be there for you
Even when you've both grown old.

Friday, August 14, 2015

When You're Here

I've tried to reach out,
But I can't find you;
You think that I've given up
When I'm right beside you.
I used to love every word you said,
But you're not here when you're here.
You're not here when you're here;
You're not here when you're here,
When you're here.
I was your backbone;
You were my heart beat.
But we just traded,
And we're still incomplete.
I'd do anything to bring you back,
But you're not here when you're here.
You're not here when you're here;
You're not here when you're here,
When you're here.

Thursday, August 13, 2015

A Break

This song is shaped like a flower, so now I'm afraid to edit it. :P

You think that I'm mad at you,
Because right now we aren't talking.
You've noticed that I'm avoiding you,
And now you're kind of hurting.
I'm afraid that you don't understand;
Sometimes it's good to be apart.
We talked so much we need a break,
Before you crawl into my heart.
I just need you to be my friend,
And so I must go away.
Someday I'll come around again,
But today is not that day.
You don't see the danger we're in;
You think more than feel,
Unlike me.
And before I feel something that you don't,
I think I'd better let you be.
Please don't try
To change
My
Mind;
It's
Hard
As 
It
Is;
I
Knew
We'd
Have
To
Say
Goodbye,
But
I
Hoped
Not
Like
This.

Could You Be My Superhero?

Whoa. I don't remember what I originally had in mind for this, but I like it a lot better than I thought. It shouldn't need too much tweaking... Although the last couple lines bug me; they don't seem to quite rhyme; they don't have the same sort of rhythm.

Could you be my superhero,
And fight off all my deepest fears?
Could you swoop in and save me,
Instead of leaving me stranded here?
Are you the one I've waited for,
That person I can trust?
Could you be my superhero?
Could you be the one I love?
You don't need x-ray vision;
You don't need to read my mind.
You don't need super strength;
I don't care if you can't fly.
Just listen when I need an ear,
And show me that you can be kind.
Be honest and funny and there for me,
And enlighten me when I'm blind.
Could you be my superhero,
And save me from myself?
Could you praise me when I'm right,
And show me when I'm wrong,
And would you feel at all embarrassed
If I randomly burst into song?
Could you be my superhero;
Could I trust you with my life?
Could you be my superhero;
Could you be the one I love? 


I Have Something To Say

Ugh. No matter what I do to this I'm never going to be content with the second half. This will just have to do. X(

I have something to say,
But I don't know how.
I'm just glad you're with me now.
I don't like to touch,
But I take your hand;
We're not in love,
But I'll dance with my friend.
It's been too long since I saw you;
Have you noticed the changes that I've been through?
It makes me nervous,
And I tug at my hair;
Do you care that I care if you care?
Do you like the new me?
I'm not sure if I do,
But I'm finding a love
For myself in you.
I have something to say,
And I know that you'll listen,
But will you hear
The words that are missing?
I trust you like I trust the sun to set,
But I haven't decided if I trust me yet.
So walk with me where we can be alone,
And remind me I, too,
Have a beautiful soul.
I avoid you sometimes,
But that's a living hell,
And I'm so tired of running away.
So let me lean on your shoulder
And close my eyes
And pretend that you'll always stay.
But when you finally have to go,
Give me one last hug goodbye;
I can love you still while you're far away,
And remember that you're on my side.




Tuesday, August 11, 2015

I'm So Glad You're My Friend

I need you to know I care about you;
I love you no matter what you do.
Your laugh, your smile; they get to me,
And you've showed me the person I'd like to be.
I'm so glad you're my friend.
I need you to know that I need you;
Your voice is the sound of forgiveness..
Your hands, your words, they keep me strong,
And you make me feel like I really belong.
I'm so glad you're my friend.
I need you to know I like when you're here;
It's comforting to know that you're near.
Even your silence on the phone
Somehow reminds me that I'm not alone.
I'm so glad you're my friend. 
The laughing and singing in the car;
The crying walking to the park;
You're someone who's part of my soul,
And I can never forget about you.
I'm so glad you're my friend.
I'm so glad you're my friend.
Promise me that you'll always be;
I'm so glad you're my friend.

Song I Need To Edit

I don't know where this is going,
But I'm not making the same mistakes again.
Just try to be honest with me;
If this is love, promise you'll never leave.
But if we're going to be friends, don't pretend;
Just be my friend, and I'll be your friend until the end.

Monday, July 27, 2015

I Care Too Much

I hope I misunderstood you again;
I seem to have a habit of that, my friend.
I guess I miscommunicate a lot;
I just hope you know it's not your fault.
But sometimes it's good to be alone,
Where you don't need a reason to cry.
And sometimes it's good to just fall asleep,
Where you can die without needing to die.
And I'm not coming home 'til every last tear is spent;
And I'm not waking up 'til people start to ask where I've been.
Because I've felt too much;
Because I've dreamed too much.
Because I've seen too much;
Because I've known too much.
I've hurt you too much,
And sometimes I wonder if our friendship is all that it seems,
Because you've given too much of yourself to me,
And sometimes I'm not there
For you,
And that looks like I don't care.
But I care too much;
I care too much.
Sometimes I care too much;
I know I care too much
About you.
But sometimes it's good to be alone,
Where you don't need a reason to cry.
And sometimes it's good to just fall asleep,
Where you can die without needing to die.
And I'm not coming home 'til every last tear is spent;
And I'm not waking up 'til people start to ask where I've been.
Because I've failed too much,
And I feel too much.
Because I dream too much,
And I hope too much.
Because I've seen too much,
And I know too much.
I've hurt you too much,
And sometimes I wonder if my friendship is everything you think,
Because you've given too much of yourself to me,
And sometimes I'm not there
For you,
And that looks like I don't care.
But I care too much;
I care too much.
I care too much;
I care too much.
Yes I care too much;
I care too much.
I care too much.

Saturday, June 20, 2015

Just A Junior Love

Just a junior love,
Just a little crush;
Surely it won't last.
Just a little laugh,
Just a little blush;
Surely it won't stay.
This isn't good;
This isn't good.
We aren't meant to be.
I'll hurt you,
Just like other
People have hurt me.
A small mistake;
A misunderstanding.
That's all this can be.
You deserve happiness;
And I...
I don't deserve anything.
Just a junior love,
Just a little love;
It's sure to go away.
Just a little glance,
Just a little blush;
I don't mean to feel this way.
This isn't good;
This isn't good;
I only wanted to be friends.
A small mistake
Is all it takes,
And another good one ends...


Fade Away

(Not what I imagined... but what did I imagine...? :P )

I'm not afraid of dying;
I'm afraid to fade away.
No matter how many love me,
I'll be forgot one day.
It shouldn't make a difference;
Chances are I won't be here.
But for some reason it frightens me
That I could simply disappear.
I could make an impact,
But even that won't last;
Someday it will be
As if I was never here;
Like a  dead leaf,
Swept into the past.

Drowning Dry

I'm in a sea of people,
Surrounded on all sides.
I can't see above them;
I'm drowning,
Drowning dry.
I try to catch my breath,
But I feel like I'm gonna die.
I don't know who to turn to;
I'm drowning,
Drowning dry.
I can't make myself an island;
I can't just slip on by.
Someone will stop to greet me;
I'm drowning,
Drowning dry.
I close my eyes a moment;
I lean against the wall.
I pretend that I'm not here,
And I might not drown at all...?

Someone's in the corner
And in the corner of my eye.
Alone, I'm not alone;
We both think we're drowning dry.
Maybe I'll walk over;
Maybe I'll say hi.
Maybe I'll stop somebody
Else from drowning dry.
Wait, but I don't know them;
Is it really worth a try?
Maybe I'll just stay here,
And let myself drown dry...

Someone taps my shoulder;
I hear somebody sigh.
I feel someone pull me to shore,
And I'm not drowning dry.
I fight it on the inside;
They ask me if I'm shy.
"No... I just... I feel like...
I'm drowning,
Drowning dry."
They cock their head a little;
They sort of blink their eyes.
"I never heard it put like that;
Drowning,
Drowning dry...?
"Well, you aren't the only one;
Everyone drowns sometimes.
You'll just have to save yourself;
Instead of drowning, learn to fly."

Fly... I'm not a flyer...
I smile, and say goodbye...
How should they know?
They aren't the one who's drowning,
Drowning dry.
I can't talk to people;
And no, I can't say why.
I just need to leave now,
Lest I should drown dry.


A Piece Of Paper

A piece of paper
In the street;
A piece of a person
Crushed under feet.
A piece of a memory;
A letter? A song?
A picture of someone
Who's gone... too gone.
Someone may miss it;
Or perhaps they don't care.
But it looks sort of sad,
Just lying there.
Does it make you feel lonely?
Does it make you feel cold?
Does it make you remember?
Does it make you feel old?
Just a small piece of paper;
Maybe folded, maybe torn.
There are so many like it;
They look so forlorn.
Do you pick it up?
Do you read it?
Do you throw it away?
Is it dead? Is it stolen?
What does it say?
A photo of lovers,
Or somebody's pet?
A grocery list,
A poem,
A story,
A sketch?
A living memory,
Of what they wish they had said?
How many times
Do you think it's been read?
If you looked it over,
Would it be wrong?
The wind's picking up,
And the paper is gone...

My Beautiful Friend...

...A letter to you,
To let you know how much I care.
It's been too long,
And words stick in my throat,
But I think I can take it from here...
Have you ever seen the willow tree,
And the way it loves the ground?
Have you ever seen the black bird fly,
And the way it loves the sky?
There's a closeness there,
A needing there,
A healthy kind of thing.
A holding up,
A holding on,
And yet, a certain letting go.
So you are too me;
So it is with us.
You are my holding up,
And my holding on,
And you are my letting go.
You are my wings,
My clouds,
My sunshine.
You are my branches,
My roots,
My trunk.
I remember a time that we laughed;
I remember a time that we smiled.
I remember a time we shut the doors
And we cried
And we didn't have to know why.
Have you ever seen an island,
And the way the sea keeps it safe?
Have you ever seen a flower,
And how it feeds the bees?
Have you ever seen the sun set,
With a promise to come back?
My friend, when I see you, just us,
You make me feel like that.
I know that you've had tears,
And I can't truly keep you safe,
But when I see you dance,
What I actually see is Life.

Saturday, May 23, 2015

Can You Believe? Second Draft/Long Version

+Alena Grobien  +Alena Grobien   I completed your challenge, but I don't think you'll like the results.

Can you believe
I could talk to you
And not tell you how I feel?
Smile and laugh
At all your jokes
And try to tell myself it's not read?
Can you believe
That I could love you
And not want to be loved back?
Try my best
Not to look at you;
Let my heart break just like that?
It doesn't make sense
To most people,
But maybe I'm
Not right in the head.
I think you'd be better off
Without me;
Sometimes I think
I'd be better of dead.
Can you believe
I could be so stupid,
And leave it all unsaid?
Can you believe
I'd ignore my best friend
And avoid her at all cost?
She's always been
Right there for me
But I've given myself up for lost.
Can you believe
I wouldn't call her back,
Or answer her e-mails,
And complain about her,
And cry to myself,
And tell myself I've failed?
It doesn't make sense
To most people,
But maybe I'm
Not right in the head.
I know she's better off
Without me,
And maybe I
Don't need any friends.
Can you believe
I could be such a jerk,
And just walk away like that?
Can you believe
I would hide from my family,
And not care what they think?
That I'd go for a walk
And not come back,
Leaving dishes in the sink?
Can you believe
I'd lock my bedroom door,
And not say what's wrong,
And stare a a blank
Sheet of notebook paper,
Because I've forgotten how to put it in song?
It doesn't make sense
To most people,
But maybe I'm
Not right in the head.
I bet they'd be
Better off without me;
So say the voices
In my head.
Can you believe
I could be so lost
I cut even my family off?
The fact is that
I don't hate them;
I'm trying to avoid a fight.
I love them, but I'm a bad person,
And I'm trying to make things right.
Can you believe
I'd give up on myself,
Like it's the only option left?
That I feel
Numb and dead on the inside,
And just want to stay in bed?
Can you believe
That I'm so alone
I don't even have myself?
You can't just
"Choose to be happy"
Or I'd have figured that out myself.
It doesn't make sense
To most people,
But maybe I'm
Not right in the head.
I can't trust myself
Anymore;
I've got to trust
God instead.
Can you believe
That I'm trying to believe in love,
And this is where it's led?

Can You Believe? First Draft

+Alena Grobien +Alena Grobien  I completed your challenge, but I don't think you'll like the results.

Can you believe
That I could love you
And not want to be loved back?
That I'd say I'm happy
And don't need help
And not mean a word of that?
It might sound crazy
To a healthy person,
But maybe I'm not right in the head.
Can you just try to believe me,
Even if you don't understand
A word I've said?

Monday, April 27, 2015

Down By The Water

(A song I wrote for "Goose Feathers.")

Down by the water where the snakes swim,
She promised, she promised,
She promised to meet him.
Down by the water in the dark of night,
The moon shone, the moon shone,
On their secret its light.
Don't think, my darling, and don't run away;
I promise, I promise,
We'll marry one day.”

Down by the water where bare feet tread
Slipping, and sliding, until she lay dead.
Down by the water where they promised to meet,
The moon shone, the moon shone,
On her bitten feet.
Confusion and terror, and telling of lies,
And a whisper, soft whisper,
I'm sorry. Goodnight.”

Down by the water time has gone by;
Daughters forgotten, promises die,
But still people meet, and joy may be found,
In daylight, by sunlight,
With love all around...

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

It's Dark In Here; Goodnight, Goodnight

It's dark in here;
I can't sleep.
I've numbed my heart,
So it can't see.
I lie to you
To lie to me.
We're not okay;
I can't be free.
I'm so alone.
I'm so sorry.
I just don't know,
When to let it be.
I'm falling fast,
I'm breaking slow;
I just can't seem
To let it go.
No, no you're wrong.
I know you are.
I have to keep
Your heart unscarred.
Lock it up,
Lock it up tight;
Throw away the key,
And let's not fight.
I'm okay;
No, no I'm not.
But you can't see
Me fall apart.
I'm wrong for you;
Are you wrong for me?
I toss and turn;
I cry; I dream.
No, no, no,
Something's not right.
It's dark in here;
Goodnight... Goodnight...

Sunday, April 5, 2015

I'm So Sorry (Can't Ask You To Forgive Me)

(This song is like one huge editing note... :P )

I'm so sorry;
I know the fault is mine.
I can finally see
That I wasn't right;
I can't say I didn't mean it at the time,*
But if I could,
You know I'd turn back time.
Forgive me!
I can't ask you to forgive me
When I can't forgive myself;
I'll understand completely
If you put me back on the shelf.
You're better off alone,
And I'll feel less guilty
If the only one I'm hurting
In the future is me.
I'm so sorry;
I know I let you down.
You made me your queen of hearts,
And I threw away the crown. **
You were my friend;
You were always there for me.
You needed my friendship/help/hand,***
And I hid in the sea. ****
Forgive me!
How could you forgive me
When I almost let you drown?*****
I wish that I was everything
That you think of me,
But I'm just a terrible person/friend,
Who can't bear to set you free.******


*last night?
** You gave me your heart, (And) I turned your smile upside down/to a frown?
*** I took your paddle/life vest and sent you off to sea?
**** (And) I (let you get) lost (you) at sea?
***** let you down?
******Who's terribly lucky? Who's got to learn to let you be? Who's love is poisoning?

Monday, March 23, 2015

Oh Well

( This is definitely going to need editing. It's just a bunch of incoherent sentences right now. Hey. I was tired. :P )

Oooooh hell.
I don't know what I'm doing;
I feel like I've messed up somehow.
But oooooh well;
You win some and you lose some.
I guess that I'll just sit this one out.
I don't need to tell you why;
Maybe I don't know.
I've thought I'd given up so many times,
But I just can't let go.
Do you know what I mean?
I'm so sorry.
Ooooooh hell. 
I don't know what I'm trying to say,
And I feel like I need you to understand.
But oooooh well;
Even if you knew,
 I can't guarantee things will go as planned.

Friday, February 27, 2015

You Lost Someone

You lost a friend today;
Maybe more than a friend.
You were dreaming about next time
And didn't expect it to end.
They were always there for you;
A shoulder or a hand,
And you still plan to tell them things,
'Cause you forget every now and then.
REFRAIN
And you fall down crying on the floor,
Because you can't hear their innocent laugh anymore.
Sometimes you wannt be mad,
But you know that you can't;
You just wish you'd known sooner what you had,
Instead of realizing now that it's too late
How much you've lost and what you wish you had said.

You lost someone today;
Maybe you've lost it all.
Now you can't stop looking over your shoulder,
Because you think you hear them call.
You know that everyone dies,
But it's still no easy.
You didn't get to say goodbye;
You never expect to lose somebody.
REFRAIN

You lost something today;
Maybe your life-long love.
People try to tell you that it gets better,
But right now that isn't enough.
Nothing can distract you;
Your heart's broken in half.
So maybe you saw it coming;
Nothing can really prepare you for that.
REFRAIN


Sunday, February 1, 2015

I Can't Stay

*Needs Editing*

Every time we start to get close,
I get scared and let it go.
I start to think I should leave;
Just give up, give you space to breathe,
Even though you say
You want me to stay.
Every time I get close to someone,
I end up saying something all wrong;
You're too innocent to feel that kind of pain.
You may not see it right now,
But someday you'll figure out
You'll be much happier
When I'm out of your way.
REFRAIN
I can't stay, no, no,
I have to let you go.
Before your heart breaks, too,
Just like they always do.
I always think
That things have changed;
The only problem is
My jaded heart's the same.


Friday, January 23, 2015

Painting The Roses Red

You think you have friends
'Cause you try to fit in;
They're always lecturing
You.
You do what they tell you to;
You say what they want you to
You're scared to death
You won't paint all your roses red.
You're painting the roses red, red,
You're painting the roses red, red, red.
You're painting the roses,
You're painting the roses,
You're painting the roses red.
But I love you best when you act like you,
Telling jokes they say they don't get.
Take my hand, let me rescue you;
Stop painting your roses red.
You don't need to paint the roses red, red.
You don't need to paint the roses red, red, red.
You're painting the roses;
You're painting the roses.
No need to paint the roses red.
You put on your makeup like them;
You're trying to dress like them.
But I like you best when you're yourself;
You don't have to look* like anyone else.*
Come on, take my hand, and let's run.
Before they can get to our heads
We'll be gone.
No more painting the roses red.
No more painting the roses red, red,
No more painting the roses red, red, red.
You were painting the roses;
We were painting the roses.
No more painting the roses red.
I used to feel like that;
I thought they were all I had.
I tried changing myself,
But I've changed my mind,
And I promise I'm not
Gonna leave you behind.
I'm not painting my roses red.
I'm done painting the roses red, red,
I'm done painting the roses red, red, red.
I was painting the roses;
I'm done painting the roses.
No more painting the roses red.





*act? be?
*You look like no one else?

Friday, January 16, 2015

Wish We Knew It Back When

I'm thinking of adding to/ editing this one, but I'm kind of not having any ideas right now. My mind and work have been very preoccupied with other things. I'm hoping to make thing month a "Guest Writers" month and take a break from writing myself, so please, feel free to share your songs and poetry, or even your short stories or artwork if you'd like! :)

I used to think there was always a right choice;
Used to wonder, used to worry if I knew what it was.
Now I'm looking off the edge at the choices I've made,
And I'm starting to think it could've gone many ways.
REFRAIN
It's okay, kay, kay, kay, kay, kay,
Yeah.
It's okay, kay, kay, kay, kay, kay,
Yeah.
I didn't blow it;
You didn't blow it.
We made it through it;
I wish we knew it then.
I wish we knew it back when.

I used to think I had no right to say what I thought;
Used to think that everything I did was wrong.
Now I'm looking at the smiles on so many faces,
And I'm thinking just maybe I'm gonna go places.
REFRAIN