Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Even Before The Storm Breaks

You feel like
The eye of the storm;
Chaos all around me,
But you keep me warm.
I talk to you;
You already know.
I give you my heart;
You don't let it go.
And though the wind and rain
Knock me to the ground
I know that you will never
Let me drown.
So I feel safe,
Even before the storm breaks.
You feel like
The eye of the storm;
If I stay with you
I won't be harmed.
I can stand still,
While people run away.
I listen to you;
You know just what to say.
Though the wind and rain may
Knock me to the ground
If you hold my hand, I know
I won't drown.
So I'm not afraid,
Even before the storm breaks.
As long as I'm with you,
I feel safe
Even before the storm breaks.

Blank Check

My love for you is a blank check, baby;
Fill in what you need.
You got it;
With draw it;
No limit
With me.
I know nobody's perfect,
But your love is everything to me.
I mean it;
Believe it;
I need it;
Need you.
I know that it sounds silly,
But I mean every word.
When you say that you love me
It's the most beautiful thing
That I've ever heard.
My love for you is a blank check, baby;
Just tell me what you need.
You get it;
Forget it;
No fine line
With me.
I know nobody's perfect,
But your love is everything to me.
I mean it;
Believe it;
I need it;
Need you.

I Feel Empty

I feel empty;
I don't know if it's you,
Or if it's me.
I feel empty,
Like there's somewhere else,
But there's nowhere else
For me to be.
Where should I be?
If I search a little harder
Could I find it?
If I wished a little harder
Could I find it?
I feel empty;
I don't know if it's me,
Or it's this place.
I feel empty;
I keep looking for someone,
Like someone could fill this space.
Who could it be?
If I looked a little harder
Could I see it?
If I tried a little harder
Could I be it?
Who should I be?
I feel empty.

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Does This Cover Everything?

I'm sorry I can't meet your eye
I'm sorry I don't know what to say
I'm sorry I can't sit beside you
I'm sorry that I turn away

I'm sorry that I'm so awkward
I'm sorry I say sorry so much
I'm sorry I cancel so often
I'm sorry that I'm not enough

I'm sorry that I'm so selfish
I'm sorry I can't see what you see
I'm sorry I need you so often
I'm sorry I don't know who to be

I'm sorry that I'm so obnoxious
I'm sorry I so easily cry
I'm sorry I don't smile more often
I'm sorry that I don't know why

I'm sorry that I never call you
I'm sorry you think I don't try
I'm sorry that I'm so lazy
I'm sorry that I want to die.

Monday, September 18, 2017

Yesterday Was Good

Yesterday was good.
Yesterday was good.
I have to keep telling myself,
Lest I forget,
And fall too deeply into today.
How can they highest of days
Transition into the lowest
So easily?
Today was not --
Today was --
Yesterday was good.
I don't know what else to say.
Does pain matter?
Does happiness matter?
Does anything matter?
Does it matter if --
Yesterday was good.
Take another breath.
Say it again.
Yesterday was good.
Take another breath.
Say it again.
Yesterday was good.
I'm tired.
I'm broken.
It's too late to repair this day.
But yesterday was --
Yesterday was good.
That must mean
There are still good days.

Dirty Hands

No matter what I do I feel selfish;
No matter how I try I fall short.
I can't tell anyone about this;
To hear it said would only
Break their hearts.
I pray that God forgive me,
But I'm not sure He can;
Have any of His children
Ever had such dirty hands?
However far I go, I'm still lost;
Whoever I try to help, I only hurt.
Maybe it's time I followed through;
I'd only be getting what I deserve.
Whatever I try to fix, I only break;
Whatever I try to say, comes out wrong.
I know people who say that they love me,
But I don't think they'll love me til I'm gone.
I pray that God forgive me,
But I'm not sure He can;
Have any of His children
Ever had such dirty hands?
I'm so sure that He's angry,
And I know that I can't hide,
But maybe He'd forgive me
If I finally just died.
They say that God forgives me,
But I'm not sure I can.
They say He's made me clean,
But I don't feel like I am.
I thought I was on solid ground,
But I settled in the sand.
I pray that God forgive me,
But I'm not sure that He can.
I pray that God forgive me,
But I have such dirty hands.

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

I'm Trying

Where did I go wrong?
I'm exhausted as Hell.
My life is a mess,
But I wear it so well.
Awake at night;
Asleep in the morning.
I lose my temper
Without any warning.
Get out of my face.
I'm so tired of this.
There's a girl in the mirror;
I don't know who she is.
You say I'm not trying;
I'm trying so hard,
I'm just not as successful
As you are.
I feel guilty
Whatever I do;
I feel selfish,
And of no use.
But I am trying hard;
Please be patient with me.
I love you too much
To just let you leave.
I'm not easy to love;
I know, I don't love myself.
But help me to prove
I can love you well.

The Moon Or The Road?

I'm looking at the moon
Instead of at the road.
I don't care if I crash;
I don't care where I go.
Something tonight
Is doing something to me.
I only steer steady
Because I know
That I don't know
Who I might take with me
If I just let myself go.
I look away from the moon
And back at the road;
This night, at least,
I'll make it home.


Love Like You

So much to say;
I don't know where to start,
But saying nothing
Is breaking your heart.
Forgive me
For where I went wrong.
Is it too late?
Are you already gone?
Please come back;
I'll do whatever it takes.
I was mistaken
To love you my way.
Such an old friend;
Such a dear gal.
Such a beautiful person;
Please don't leave me now.
I'll find a way
To be more like you;
I'm a bit out of practice.
I'm not sure what to do.
But I'm trying so hard;
I hope you can see.
I'll love more like you
If you can't love like me.

I'm Sorry Again

You seem so far away,
Even though you're right there.
The green dot means "go,"
But all I do is stare.
I can't keep up;
I don't know what to say,
And you try to tell me
I don't want to, anyway.

I'm sorry again;
I'm sorry again.
Not sure just what I did,
But I'm sorry again.
I'm sorry again;
I'm sorry again.
I'll take the blame;
I'm sorry again.
I'm sorry again;
I'm sorry again.
Please don't leave;
I'm sorry again.
I'm sorry again;
I'm sorry again.
I'll do what I can;
I'm sorry again.

I click on your name
To see what you have to say
Wondering what I've done
To hurt you today.
You claim I have expectations,
But this feels like your game.
You set a timer
And say it's my turn to play.

I'm sorry again;
I'm sorry again.
Not sure just what I did,
But I'm sorry again.
I'm sorry again;
I'm sorry again.
I'll take the blame;
I'm sorry again.
I'm sorry again;
I'm sorry again.
Please don't leave;
I'm sorry again.
I'm sorry again;
I'm sorry again.
I'll do what I can;
I'm sorry again.

I'm so tired of fighting
When I thought we were friends.
I'm a little bit shocked
At the things you said.
I wasn't trying to hurt you,
Or to be unfair;
I didn't want you to think
That I didn't care.

I'm sorry again;
I'm sorry again.
Not sure just what I did,
But I'm sorry again.
I'm sorry again;
I'm sorry again.
I'll take the blame;
I'm sorry again.
I'm sorry again;
I'm sorry again.
Please don't leave;
I'm sorry again.
I'm sorry again;
I'm sorry again.
I'll do what I can;
I'm sorry again.

Writing

Every line is just an echo;
Years of writing, 
And nothing to show.
Lines of tears
Running down my cheeks;
Years of life
That don't mean anything.
I forget I have friends;
I forget that they care.
Any time we're not talking
I forget that they're there.
I feel like I'm living
My life on repeat;
Hundreds of lines
Just saying the same thing.
I hope it helps someone;
I hope it helps you.
I just keep on writing;
I don't know what else to do.

Tonight

Tonight
Is remarkable.
I am content to be alive.
I believe tomorrow will be good.
Tonight
Is beautiful;
I'm even smiling.
Tonight
All I can think about is
How lucky I am
To know you,
And when I can see you again.
Tonight
Is so strange
In the best way.
Do you have any idea
How rare this is?
I know it won't last forever,
So I hold onto it tightly,
Like the string of a balloon,
Like a rope pulling me up from a cliff.
It's late, but I'm writing this
So that I don't forget
Tonight.

Tuesday, September 5, 2017

The Illness

I don't know what to say
To make you smile;
Your eyes turned toward the grave,
And they've been there awhile.
You don't know how to laugh;
You don't know how to grin.
Your illness tells you to die,
And you just might give in.
I don't know what to say;
It just seems so wrong.
I could beg you to stay,
But you're already gone.
I knew who you were,
But somehow you've changed;
I must learn to love you
In a new way.