Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Maybe I Am Human

Maybe I am only
As real as tomorrow
And if you try to hold me
I will be gone.
Maybe I am lonely
'Cause I don't know who
To follow;
I'd rather stand still
Than be wrong.
But maybe I'm alive,
And I have flesh and blood.
Maybe I can bleed,
And maybe I can love.
Don't give up on me
Just 'cause I'm lost.
I'll come back;
I have in the past.
Maybe I am human.
Maybe I am human.
Maybe I am more
Than my pain.
Maybe I'll only last
As long as yesterday
And just like flowers and grass
My colors fade.
Maybe I can fly as
High as penguins can;
Why should I fall
When I can stand?
But maybe I'm alive,
And I have flesh and blood.
Maybe I can bleed,
And maybe I can love.
Don't give up on me
Just 'cause I'm lost.
I'll come back;
I have in the past.
Maybe I am human.
Maybe I am human.
Maybe I am more
Than my pain.
Maybe I'm alive,
And I have flesh and blood,
Maybe I can bleed,
And maybe I can love.
Don't give up on me
Just 'cause I'm lost.
I'll come back;
I have in the past.
Maybe I am human.
Maybe I am human.
Maybe I am more
Than my pain.
Maybe I am human.
Maybe I am human.
Maybe I am human.
Maybe I am human.
Maybe I am more
Than my pain.

Monday, August 28, 2017

Come Back

Shut up, shut up;
That's not what I want.
I say things I don't mean
And don't know how to stop.
Come back, come back;
I don't know what to do.
Who will love me
If not you?
Say it's my fault;
I'll take the blame,
As long as you
Don't go away.
I remember
When we were small
We didn't fight
Like this at all.
You'd think that now
That we're grown
We'd be more mature
Than when we were young.

Fine.

Fine.
I'm sorry.
Is that what you want?
I'm still not sure
What I did wrong.
Fine.
Scream.
Yell at me.
I'll become the person
That you think is me.
Fine.
Go on.
Point the finger at me.
You think that I'm gone?
I guess that I'll leave.
Fine.
Cry.
You'll know what
It's like.
You say we're not friends?
You always were mine.
Fine.
Say sorry,
But don't change your tune.
You're not who you were,
And I don't need this you.
Fine.
Give up.
I give up too.
I guess I've done all 
I can think of to do.

Sunday, August 27, 2017

Lost

I got lost, and I don't know how
But maybe I need to be lost right now.
It's too dark on my left,
And too bright to my right,
And here in the middle
It's just too tight.
I hear goodbyes that I never said,
And bake tears into my daily bread.
But you don't need to see them;
They aren't yours to see.
They're a gift from myself
That I give back to me.
If I wake up tomorrow
I guess that's my fault, too;
I'm sorry that I'm such a burden on you.

( )

I'm not afraid of the dark
(Oh yes I am)
I'll do it myself
(No, I can't)
I don't need people
(Oh yes I do)
I don't need people
(I need you)
I don't care
(Those words sting)
I give up
(Are you listening?)
I don't care
(How could you?)
I give up
(What can I do?)
I'm not afraid
(I feel so scared)
I don't need help
(Is anyone there?)
Just go away
(Please come back)
Just go away
(I don't mean that)
It's not my fault
(I'm so sorry)
I'm sorry
(I don't know what to do)
I'm sorry
(Just say I forgive you)
Just go away
(Don't go too far)
I'm glad you're my friend
(I don't know why you are)
I don't know
(I can't explain)
Please forgive me
(I don't think you can)
Nothing's wrong
(I can't tell you)
How was your day?
(I miss you)
I don't need help
(Please help me)
I'm just tired
(I can't sleep)
I love you
(Do you hate me?)
I'm okay
(I don't know who to be)
It's not your fault
(I think I've wasted your time)
Something came up.
(You've wasted mine,)

Teacher

Teacher, Teacher,
With the rod,
Whacks the kids
Who start to nod.
Teacher, Teacher,
With her hand,
Smacks the kids
When they are bad.
Teacher, Teacher,
With the switch
It wasn't me,
It was the snitch!
Teacher, Teacher
With her belt
Gives my back
A great big welt.
Teacher's had a
Long, long day,
But not so sore
A one as me.

I Know It Could Kill Me

I shouldn't bathe
When I feel so low;
The water could kill me,
And I know.
I shouldn't whittle
When I feel so low;
The knife could kill me,
And I know.
I shouldn't drive
When I feel so low;
A wrong turn could kill me,
And I know.
My head shouldn't hurt
When I feel so low;
The painkillers could kill me,
And I know.
I shouldn't sleep
When I feel so low;
My pillow could kill me,
And I know.
I shouldn't light candles
When I feel so low;
The fire could kill me,
And I know.
I shouldn't wander
When I feel so low;
Someone could kill me,
And I know.
I shouldn't talk
When I feel so low;
Words could kill me,
And you don't know.

Your Call

I meant to be a good friend,
But here we are
Staring down a hole
That used to be my heart.
I'm more at home
In the dark, all alone
Than on the phone
With you, or with anyone.
I tried;
I thought I tried,
But I'm no good
At hellos or goodbyes
And you didn't hear me
When you needed to.
You can't answer questions
That I don't ask;
So here I am,
Looking over letters;
Just like sand
You're slipping through my fingers,
And I can't get back
What I've let blow away.
I guess
Thinking I was doing my very best
Wasn't quite enough;
I didn't hold on tight
Like I should have.
And now it's goodbye
Even if we never say the words.
I guess I lost something
I thought that I was holding;
I guess I fell asleep
When I should have been driving.
I didn't know I was falling
Til I hit the ground;
Don't you think that
I would have turned around?
In the end, it's your call;
Give up on me,
If it's what you want,
But please don't think

I don't care at all.

Monday, August 14, 2017

Give Up On Me (Save Yourself)

I've fallen past saving;
I've got too many demons.
Are you read to give up
On me now?
Don't know what I'm doing;
Don't know where I'm going.
Are you ready to give up
On me now?
Thank you for coming;
So sorry to waste your time.
I'm tired of running,
But don't know how
To set things right.
Let me go now,
Just let me go
And save yourself.
I'm too broken to save;
Past my warranty date.
Are you ready to give up
On me now?
I'm too stubborn to change;
Too lost to find my way.
Are you ready to give up
On me now?
Thank you for coming;
So sorry to waste your time.
I'm tired of running,
But I don't know how
To set things right.
Let me go now,
Just let me go
And save yourself.

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Hello Is Happiness

Four days.
For four days
I was happy.
Maybe
That is my limit.
Four days.
And then
It happens.
The crash.
The burn.
The fear.
The anger.
The bitterness.
The tears.
The walls.
Why the walls?
Why so high?
Why so thick?
Why so long?
Is it better
To wall up my heart
Then to be 
Walled off
From yours?
Hello
Is happiness.
Goodbye
Is death.
I have never
Felt a pain
Quite like silence.
So I am silent
To you
Before
You
Are silent
To me.


And that
Is still death.
Please,
If you can,
Climb a ladder,
Or fire a cannon.
Don't let me
Shut you out.
Don't let me 
Self destruct.
If you miss me,
I miss you too.

Hello
Is happiness.
Goodbye
Is death.

Why Do I Try?

I don't know
If you want to see me.
I don't know
If I should bother going.
You say we're friends,
But we lost touch,
And you feel a world away.
I know you're busy,
But why do we do this?
Why do we get so busy
With things instead of people?
Do you call people you haven't
Seen
Or spoken to
Or thought of
In weeks
Your friends?
In months?
In years?
Where is the line?
When do you
Finally know it's over?
I feel as though
I'm trying to raise the dead.
I feel as though
I'm still running
In a race that ended yesterday.
I feel as though
I'm waiting outside a store
That will never open again.
I feel as though
I keep calling a number
That's been disconnected.
I feel as though
I'm trying to hold
The moon in the sky.
It's too heavy for me.
I can't do it.
There's no point
In doing it.
Why do I try?
I don't know
If you want to hear from me.
I don't know
If that's the only time
I cross your mind.
I've nearly forgotten
Why you ever cross mine.
This probably
Isn't fair.
This probably
Won't change anything.
This probably
Will never reach you.
You probably
Won't understand.
I don't know
Why I'm writing it;
I don't know
What else to do.
I'm sorry.
I've said it
A thousand times;
You probably want
To smack me,
Like a broken cd player.
But it's still true.
I'm sorry.
I don't know.

Alone

You feel so small.
I know,
Because I feel small, too.
You feel lost.
You feel broken.
You feel helpless.
You feel alone.
But you are not as alone
As you think.
I know,
Because I feel alone, too.
In the darkest hour of night
When your head hurts
And your pillow feels hard
And your feet are too cold
And the tears won't stop
But you have to be quiet
Because how would you explain
If they found you --
When you reach your hand out
And grab the edge of your sheet
Because you have nothing else
To hold onto,
And no one else is there,
You are not the only one.
I am gripping the edge of my sheet
Or my pillow,
Or tearing at my own skin
Like a lifeline.
You are not alone.
When you think
All you have to hold onto
Is a cold bed sheet,
Close your eyes,
And hold your hand instead,
And imagine it is my hand.
I will be imaging that I am holding yours.
Because that's all we want, isn't it?
A hand to hold onto;
To know that we aren't alone.
And tomorrow
Might not be any better;
Every face you look at
May look dumb
And lifeless,
And you may wonder
"Maybe we are lifeless.
Maybe we have nothing
To hold onto."
But don't let go.
Don't give up.
Because if I go,
Who's hand
Will you hold onto?
And if you go,
Who's hand
Will I hold onto?
Please hold on.
I don't want to be alone.

Save some money on "The Words"!


Sunday, August 6, 2017

The Wait

Please don't give up on me
When I give up on myself;
Please don't think I'm a stranger
When I don't sound like myself.
I know it's hard for you;
You know it's hard for me.
But I always find my way back
To who I used to be.
It's been a long wait,
But now maybe it's over.
Just seeing your name
Takes so much weight off of my shoulders.
I'm trying to give it time;
This might not be what I think.
But I was glad you said hello,
And I feel farther from the brink.
I'd forgotten about happy;
I'd forgotten about smiles.
But now you make me think
It was worth waiting awhile.
I won't say I love you;
I don't know if it's that.
But you won't hear me complain
If it blossoms into that.

Saturday, August 5, 2017

(The Possibility of) Something Good

It's the possibility of something good.
It fell out of the sky and into my lap,
Like a gift from Heaven
That I haven't opened yet.
And I am happy,
Not least of all
Because I wasn't expecting it.
It's the possibility of something good,
And just sitting here like normal,
Every now and then a smile
Creeps onto my face,
Like a ripple in the ocean,
And I feel warm and safe.
If anyone had told me
"Tomorrow, things will be much better,"
I would have thought they were crazy.
And yet, today
I have the possibility of something good,
And I am happy.
It's only a possibility;
It may come to nothing,
But the possibility itself is something good.