Face The Day

I don't want to face this day

But I don't get that choice today

I just need a little time

But my time's not really mine

Today I have to wear that grin

That hides what's going on within

No one needs to know my mind

They just want me to be kind

I wish I could run to you

But you have other things to do

And I'm too old to act this way

I can't be myself today

Just say you love me one more time

Then I'll pretend that I'm alright.

Pray For Me

I don't mean a word I say;

Sometimes I just get this way.

I'll draw a map straight to my heart

And find my way back where you are,

So when my blues leave on the wind

I can unite with you again.

Pray for me dear, always pray;

That's all the help I need today.

Please don't forget, if I disappear,

All my love is yours, my dear.

Flowers And Flames

Tell me secrets

In the dark;

Let me find out

Who you are.

Whisper sweet things

In my ear;

Make me think

You want me near.

I was not made

To be loved;

I'm designed

For giving up.

Let me pretend

A day or two

I could belong

To a man like you.

My skin is but

A jail cell

Hiding my own

Private hell.

I wish that I

Could let you in,

But there's no getting

Out again.

Love -- a fun,

A dangerous game.

Can't have the flowers

Without the flames.

You'd be better off alone,

But I wish that I

Could call you Home.

All I Needed Was A Friend

Cut my heart up

Burn it out

I can't feel

These things

Right now.

Scrape my skin

To bloody shreds

Rip the thoughts

Out of my head.

Leave me crying

On the floor.

I can't take this anymore.

All the pain

You could inflict

Would never match

The pain within.

Why does my head

Betray me so

Taking me

Where sorrows grow?

I can't go

Through this again.

/All I needed

Was a friend.

Maybe I'm Not Good Enough

I can't make myself okay

I can't make it go away

I just need to feel loved

Maybe I'm not good enough

I can't keep the tears away

I can't make myself be brave

I can't make you understand

I just need to hold your hand

I can't stop my throbbing heart

I can't help falling apart

I just want to be loved

Maybe I'm not good enough

I can't have you here with me

I can't make you want to be

I can't help taking the blame

I can't help feeling ashamed

I can't help you when it hurts

I am not what you deserve

I want to make you feel loved

Maybe I'm not good enough

Can't Tell You No

It's far too late,

And this isn't right,

But I've been waiting for you

All of my life.

I've been waiting for you

For such a long time;

How could I make myself

Tell you goodbye?

My body is shaking,

And I don't know why.

My body is shaking,

And I'm out of my mind.

Can you feel it, too?

Can you hear me sigh?

I love you, baby;

I can't say good night.

I can't tell you no;

Couldn't if I tried.

I can't tell you no, babe,

And I don't want to fight it.

I long to be near you,
And I can't hide it.
So whisper softly in my ear;
I'll close my eyes,
And wish you here.
And when you're finally
At my side,
I'll pull you closer,
Close as you like.
Then you can kiss
My racing heart,
And we'll never have to
Be apart.

Invincible

I'm invincible

In your arms;

There I'll rest,

Safe from harm.

I'm invincible

By your side;

In your heart

I can hide.

I'm invincible

With your love;

You make me feel

Like I'm enough.

I'm invincible

Holding your hand;

I'm your girl,

And you're my man.

I'm invincible

When I see your eyes;

You smile at me,

And I'm satisfied.

I'm invincible

When you lift me up.

I'm not afraid;

I have your love.

I'm invincible

As long as you're here;

I won't leave,

Don't you fear.

I'm invincible

If I have you,

So let me say

I love you, too.

Permanent Place

You aren't just time that I'm wasting;

You aren't just a smile on my face.

This home you and I are building,

It is a permanent place.

You aren't just one among many;

You aren't just a childish phase.

You aren't just someone to hold me;

You are my permanent place.

And if you should leave,

I would have to leave too,

Because now my life

Is tied to you.

And if you should cry,

Then I would cry too,

Because my heart and my soul

Are tied to you.

You aren't just a hand in my hand;

You aren't just a good looking face.

You aren't the cheap off-brand;

Babe, you're my permanent place.

And if you should leave,

I would have to leave too,

Because now my life

Is tied to you.

And if you should cry,

Then I would cry too,

Because my heart and my soul

Are tied to you.

You are my permanent place.

Darling, I Love You

Your heart

Is the biggest heart I know,

And your hand

Is the only hand I hold.

Your smile

Is the brightest smile I've seen,

And your voice

Is the sweetest sound to me,

And in case it isn't clear

I want to say for all to hear

Darling, I love you.

Darling, I love you.

Darling, I love you.

Your home

Will be my home one day,

And your name

Is going to be my name.

My lips

Will be your lips to kiss,

And your kids

Are gonna be my kids.

I'm sure you've guessed by now,

But if you haven't yet somehow,

Darling, I love you.

Darling, I love you.

Darling, I love you.

Your heart

Is the biggest heart I know;

Where you are

Is where I want to go.

And I've said it before,

But I can't help saying it more;

Darling, I love you.

Darling, I love you.

Darling, I love you.

My Wings

You love me like

My flaws aren't as big

As I thought they were,

And I don't have to be sorry

For my every word.

I can finally fall asleep

Without being afraid,

Because I know that you'll

Be there when I wake.

If the ground dissolves

Beneath my feet,

You're the only wings

That I'll need.

I can walk on water

And brave Hell's flame

When on the other end

I hear you calling my name.

Just keep doing

What you already do;

I don't love someone

You could be;

I'm in love with you.

Worth The Wait

When you came into my life

You chased the storm away;

Now everything is golden

Where it once was gray

I can't seem to stop smiling,

And I don't know what to say;

We both know I'm not perfect,

But you love me anyway.

My whole life I've been running,

But you make me want to stay,

And if this is a dream,

Then I hope I never wake.

When I thought that I was lost

You showed me a new way;

I had given up all hope,

But you were worth the wait.

The Wolf And Me

Are you happy with yourself?

You don't seem happy with anyone else.

Maybe you're just tired of us all.

I can't say I mind;

I've felt the same way for a long time.

There's still some things

I just can't say out loud.

But are you lonely now?

I still get that way somehow.

Maybe that's why the wolf

Howls at the moon,

And even now, I can't help

But talk to you.

Some Feelings

I posted this once, then decided I didn't like it and reverted it to a draft for some reason. Here is is again, unchanged from before. :P

I don't sleep on my thoughts;

They sleep on me.

They weigh me down

Like a blanket of bricks.

I'll be alright;

Just stay by me.

I always forget

You're on my side.

I don't mean to make you

Feel low;

I keep going down,

Cuz I don't know where else to go.

If you can fly,

Show me how;

I guess I must have lost

My wings somehow.

If you forget how to love,

Hurry up and remember;

I can't wait until

Next September

For you to find your way

Back to me.

Forget this whole thing;

Let's just call it a night.

Some feelings can't be worded right.

I Am Wicked

I am wicked.

I can see no tomorrow;

Not for me.

The world may not end tonight

But I already have.

I am wicked.

I'm not a good friend.

Don't tell me I am.

If I were good,

I would be gone by now.

The dirty deed

Would already be done.

I hang around

And hang around

And hang around

And never just...

Don't misunderstand me.

I don't want to go.

I don't want to go.

But I can't stay any longer.

I'm out of options.

It's not the same.

I am wicked.

I am selfish

And lazy

And foolish.

No one needs me

And I am wicked.

You can tell me

And tell me

And tell me,

But I don't believe you love me.

I don't believe He loves me.

I don't believe it gets any better.

Just laugh with me one last time.

Hug me

Even though I'll tell you not to.

Sing to me.

I am wicked.

But please

Don't let me die alone.

I Want To See Where This Goes

I've been thinking 'bout where this could go

If you'd just ask one simple question.

What's the answer?

Well, I don't know,

But it feels like we're headed

In some sort of direction.

Pull me up,

Or put me down,

Take me there,

Or turn me around;

I want to see where this goes.

I want to see where this goes.

Spin me left,

Point me right,

Bring me back,

Let's drive all night;

I want to see where this goes.

I want to see where this goes.

I've been thinking 'bout where this could go
If I could just get the words out.
Is it too soon?
Are you ready?
I'm not sure,
But maybe we're headed
That direction.
Pull me up,
Or put me down,
Take me there,
Or turn me around;
I want to see where this goes.
I want to see where this goes.
Spin me left,
Point me right,
Bring me back,
Let's drive all night;
I want to see where this goes.
I want to see where this goes.
Do you see what I see?
Are you coming with me?
I'm not sure where we're headed,
But I want to see where this goes.
I want to see where this goes.
I'm thinking about one simple question.
What's the answer?
I don't quite know,
But I think we're headed some direction.
Pull me up;
I know you won't put me down.
Take my hand
And spin me around.
I want to see where this goes.
I want to see where this goes.
Spin me left,
Dip me right,
Bring me back,
Let's laugh all night;
I want to see where this goes.
I want to see where this goes.
I want to see where this goes.
I want to see where this goes.

Even Before The Storm Breaks

You feel like

The eye of the storm;

Chaos all around me,

But you keep me warm.

I talk to you;

You already know.

I give you my heart;

You don't let it go.

And though the wind and rain

Knock me to the ground

I know that you will never

Let me drown.

So I feel safe,

Even before the storm breaks.

You feel like

The eye of the storm;

If I stay with you

I won't be harmed.

I can stand still,

While people run away.

I listen to you;

You know just what to say.

Though the wind and rain may

Knock me to the ground

If you hold my hand, I know

I won't drown.

So I'm not afraid,

Even before the storm breaks.

As long as I'm with you,

I feel safe

Even before the storm breaks.

Blank Check

My love for you is a blank check, baby;

Fill in what you need.

You got it;

With draw it;

No limit

With me.

I know nobody's perfect,

But your love is everything to me.

I mean it;

Believe it;

I need it;

Need you.

I know that it sounds silly,

But I mean every word.

When you say that you love me

It's the most beautiful thing

That I've ever heard.

My love for you is a blank check, baby;

Just tell me what you need.

You get it;

Forget it;

No fine line

With me.

I know nobody's perfect,

But your love is everything to me.

I mean it;

Believe it;

I need it;

Need you.

I Feel Empty

I feel empty;

I don't know if it's you,

Or if it's me.

I feel empty,

Like there's somewhere else,

But there's nowhere else

For me to be.

Where should I be?

If I search a little harder

Could I find it?

If I wished a little harder

Could I find it?

I feel empty;

I don't know if it's me,

Or it's this place.

I feel empty;

I keep looking for someone,

Like someone could fill this space.

Who could it be?

If I looked a little harder

Could I see it?

If I tried a little harder

Could I be it?

Who should I be?

I feel empty.

Does This Cover Everything?

I'm sorry I can't meet your eye

I'm sorry I don't know what to say

I'm sorry I can't sit beside you

I'm sorry that I turn away

I'm sorry that I'm so awkward

I'm sorry I say sorry so much

I'm sorry I cancel so often

I'm sorry that I'm not enough

I'm sorry that I'm so selfish

I'm sorry I can't see what you see

I'm sorry I need you so often

I'm sorry I don't know who to be

I'm sorry that I'm so obnoxious

I'm sorry I so easily cry

I'm sorry I don't smile more often

I'm sorry that I don't know why

I'm sorry that I never call you

I'm sorry you think I don't try

I'm sorry that I'm so lazy

I'm sorry that I want to die.

Yesterday Was Good

Yesterday was good.

Yesterday was good.

I have to keep telling myself,

Lest I forget,

And fall too deeply into today.

How can they highest of days

Transition into the lowest

So easily?

Today was not --

Today was --

Yesterday was good.

I don't know what else to say.

Does pain matter?

Does happiness matter?

Does anything matter?

Does it matter if --

Yesterday was good.

Take another breath.

Say it again.

Yesterday was good.

Take another breath.

Say it again.

Yesterday was good.

I'm tired.

I'm broken.

It's too late to repair this day.

But yesterday was --

Yesterday was good.

That must mean

There are still good days.

Dirty Hands

No matter what I do I feel selfish;

No matter how I try I fall short.

I can't tell anyone about this;

To hear it said would only

Break their hearts.

I pray that God forgive me,

But I'm not sure He can;

Have any of His children

Ever had such dirty hands?

However far I go, I'm still lost;

Whoever I try to help, I only hurt.

Maybe it's time I followed through;

I'd only be getting what I deserve.

Whatever I try to fix, I only break;

Whatever I try to say, comes out wrong.

I know people who say that they love me,

But I don't think they'll love me til I'm gone.

I pray that God forgive me,

But I'm not sure He can;

Have any of His children

Ever had such dirty hands?

I'm so sure that He's angry,

And I know that I can't hide,

But maybe He'd forgive me

If I finally just died.

They say that God forgives me,

But I'm not sure I can.

They say He's made me clean,

But I don't feel like I am.

I thought I was on solid ground,

But I settled in the sand.

I pray that God forgive me,

But I'm not sure that He can.

I pray that God forgive me,

But I have such dirty hands.

I'm Trying

Where did I go wrong?

I'm exhausted as Hell.

My life is a mess,

But I wear it so well.

Awake at night;

Asleep in the morning.

I lose my temper

Without any warning.

Get out of my face.

I'm so tired of this.
There's a girl in the mirror;
I don't know who she is.
You say I'm not trying;
I'm trying so hard,
I'm just not as successful
As you are.
I feel guilty
Whatever I do;
I feel selfish,
And of no use.
But I am trying hard;
Please be patient with me.
I love you too much
To just let you leave.
I'm not easy to love;
I know, I don't love myself.
But help me to prove
I can love you well.

The Moon Or The Road?

I'm looking at the moon

Instead of at the road.

I don't care if I crash;

I don't care where I go.
Something tonight
Is doing something to me.
I only steer steady
Because I know
That I don't know
Who I might take with me
If I just let myself go.
I look away from the moon
And back at the road;
This night, at least,
I'll make it home.

Love Like You

So much to say;

I don't know where to start,

But saying nothing

Is breaking your heart.

Forgive me

For where I went wrong.

Is it too late?

Are you already gone?
Please come back;
I'll do whatever it takes.
I was mistaken
To love you my way.
Such an old friend;
Such a dear gal.
Such a beautiful person;
Please don't leave me now.
I'll find a way
To be more like you;
I'm a bit out of practice.
I'm not sure what to do.
But I'm trying so hard;
I hope you can see.
I'll love more like you
If you can't love like me.

I'm Sorry Again

You seem so far away,

Even though you're right there.

The green dot means "go,"

But all I do is stare.

I can't keep up;

I don't know what to say,

And you try to tell me

I don't want to, anyway.

I'm sorry again;
I'm sorry again.
Not sure just what I did,
But I'm sorry again.
I'm sorry again;
I'm sorry again.
I'll take the blame;
I'm sorry again.
I'm sorry again;
I'm sorry again.
Please don't leave;
I'm sorry again.
I'm sorry again;
I'm sorry again.
I'll do what I can;
I'm sorry again.

I click on your name

To see what you have to say

Wondering what I've done

To hurt you today.

You claim I have expectations,

But this feels like your game.

You set a timer

And say it's my turn to play.

I'm sorry again;
I'm sorry again.
Not sure just what I did,
But I'm sorry again.
I'm sorry again;
I'm sorry again.
I'll take the blame;
I'm sorry again.
I'm sorry again;
I'm sorry again.
Please don't leave;
I'm sorry again.
I'm sorry again;
I'm sorry again.
I'll do what I can;
I'm sorry again.

I'm so tired of fighting
When I thought we were friends.
I'm a little bit shocked
At the things you said.
I wasn't trying to hurt you,
Or to be unfair;
I didn't want you to think
That I didn't care.

I'm sorry again;
I'm sorry again.
Not sure just what I did,
But I'm sorry again.
I'm sorry again;
I'm sorry again.
I'll take the blame;
I'm sorry again.
I'm sorry again;
I'm sorry again.
Please don't leave;
I'm sorry again.
I'm sorry again;
I'm sorry again.
I'll do what I can;
I'm sorry again.

Writing

Every line is just an echo;

Years of writing, 

And nothing to show.

Lines of tears

Running down my cheeks;

Years of life

That don't mean anything.
I forget I have friends;
I forget that they care.
Any time we're not talking
I forget that they're there.
I feel like I'm living
My life on repeat;
Hundreds of lines
Just saying the same thing.
I hope it helps someone;
I hope it helps you.
I just keep on writing;
I don't know what else to do.

Tonight

Tonight

Is remarkable.

I am content to be alive.

I believe tomorrow will be good.

Tonight

Is beautiful;

I'm even smiling.

Tonight

All I can think about is

How lucky I am

To know you,

And when I can see you again.

Tonight

Is so strange

In the best way.

Do you have any idea

How rare this is?

I know it won't last forever,

So I hold onto it tightly,

Like the string of a balloon,

Like a rope pulling me up from a cliff.

It's late, but I'm writing this

So that I don't forget

Tonight.

The Illness

I don't know what to say

To make you smile;

Your eyes turned toward the grave,

And they've been there awhile.

You don't know how to laugh;

You don't know how to grin.

Your illness tells you to die,

And you just might give in.

I don't know what to say;

It just seems so wrong.

I could beg you to stay,

But you're already gone.

I knew who you were,

But somehow you've changed;

I must learn to love you

In a new way.

Maybe I Am Human

Maybe I am only

As real as tomorrow

And if you try to hold me

I will be gone.

Maybe I am lonely

'Cause I don't know who

To follow;

I'd rather stand still

Than be wrong.

But maybe I'm alive,

And I have flesh and blood.

Maybe I can bleed,

And maybe I can love.

Don't give up on me

Just 'cause I'm lost.

I'll come back;

I have in the past.

Maybe I am human.

Maybe I am human.

Maybe I am more

Than my pain.

Maybe I'll only last

As long as yesterday

And just like flowers and grass

My colors fade.

Maybe I can fly as

High as penguins can;

Why should I fall

When I can stand?

But maybe I'm alive,

And I have flesh and blood.

Maybe I can bleed,

And maybe I can love.

Don't give up on me

Just 'cause I'm lost.

I'll come back;

I have in the past.

Maybe I am human.

Maybe I am human.

Maybe I am more

Than my pain.

Maybe I'm alive,

And I have flesh and blood,

Maybe I can bleed,

And maybe I can love.

Don't give up on me

Just 'cause I'm lost.

I'll come back;

I have in the past.

Maybe I am human.

Maybe I am human.

Maybe I am more

Than my pain.

Maybe I am human.

Maybe I am human.

Maybe I am human.

Maybe I am human.

Maybe I am more

Than my pain.

Come Back

Shut up, shut up;

That's not what I want.

I say things I don't mean

And don't know how to stop.

Come back, come back;

I don't know what to do.

Who will love me

If not you?

Say it's my fault;

I'll take the blame,

As long as you

Don't go away.

I remember

When we were small

We didn't fight

Like this at all.

You'd think that now

That we're grown

We'd be more mature

Than when we were young.

Fine.

Fine.

I'm sorry.

Is that what you want?

I'm still not sure

What I did wrong.

Fine.

Scream.

Yell at me.

I'll become the person

That you think is me.

Fine.

Go on.

Point the finger at me.

You think that I'm gone?

I guess that I'll leave.

Fine.

Cry.

You'll know what

It's like.

You say we're not friends?

You always were mine.

Fine.

Say sorry,

But don't change your tune.

You're not who you were,

And I don't need this you.

Fine.

Give up.

I give up too.

I guess I've done all 

I can think of to do.

Lost

I got lost, and I don't know how

But maybe I need to be lost right now.

It's too dark on my left,

And too bright to my right,

And here in the middle

It's just too tight.

I hear goodbyes that I never said,

And bake tears into my daily bread.

But you don't need to see them;

They aren't yours to see.

They're a gift from myself

That I give back to me.

If I wake up tomorrow

I guess that's my fault, too;

I'm sorry that I'm such a burden on you.

( )

I'm not afraid of the dark

(Oh yes I am)

I'll do it myself

(No, I can't)

I don't need people

(Oh yes I do)

I don't need people

(I need you)

I don't care

(Those words sting)

I give up

(Are you listening?)

I don't care

(How could you?)

I give up

(What can I do?)

I'm not afraid

(I feel so scared)

I don't need help

(Is anyone there?)

Just go away

(Please come back)

Just go away

(I don't mean that)

It's not my fault

(I'm so sorry)

I'm sorry

(I don't know what to do)

I'm sorry

(Just say I forgive you)

Just go away

(Don't go too far)

I'm glad you're my friend

(I don't know why you are)

I don't know

(I can't explain)

Please forgive me

(I don't think you can)

Nothing's wrong

(I can't tell you)

How was your day?

(I miss you)

I don't need help

(Please help me)

I'm just tired

(I can't sleep)

I love you

(Do you hate me?)

I'm okay

(I don't know who to be)

It's not your fault

(I think I've wasted your time)

Something came up.

(You've wasted mine,)

Teacher

Teacher, Teacher,

With the rod,

Whacks the kids

Who start to nod.

Teacher, Teacher,

With her hand,

Smacks the kids

When they are bad.

Teacher, Teacher,

With the switch

It wasn't me,

It was the snitch!

Teacher, Teacher

With her belt

Gives my back

A great big welt.

Teacher's had a

Long, long day,

But not so sore

A one as me.

I Know It Could Kill Me

I shouldn't bathe

When I feel so low;

The water could kill me,

And I know.

I shouldn't whittle

When I feel so low;

The knife could kill me,

And I know.

I shouldn't drive

When I feel so low;

A wrong turn could kill me,

And I know.

My head shouldn't hurt

When I feel so low;

The painkillers could kill me,

And I know.

I shouldn't sleep

When I feel so low;

My pillow could kill me,

And I know.

I shouldn't light candles

When I feel so low;

The fire could kill me,

And I know.

I shouldn't wander

When I feel so low;

Someone could kill me,

And I know.

I shouldn't talk

When I feel so low;

Words could kill me,

And you don't know.

Your Call

I meant to be a good friend,

But here we are

Staring down a hole

That used to be my heart.

I'm more at home

In the dark, all alone

Than on the phone

With you, or with anyone.

I tried;

I thought I tried,

But I'm no good

At hellos or goodbyes

And you didn't hear me

When you needed to.

You can't answer questions

That I don't ask;

So here I am,

Looking over letters;

Just like sand

You're slipping through my fingers,

And I can't get back

What I've let blow away.

I guess

Thinking I was doing my very best

Wasn't quite enough;

I didn't hold on tight

Like I should have.

And now it's goodbye

Even if we never say the words.

I guess I lost something

I thought that I was holding;

I guess I fell asleep

When I should have been driving.

I didn't know I was falling

Til I hit the ground;

Don't you think that

I would have turned around?

In the end, it's your call;

Give up on me,

If it's what you want,

But please don't think

I don't care at all.

Give Up On Me (Save Yourself)

I've fallen past saving;

I've got too many demons.

Are you read to give up

On me now?

Don't know what I'm doing;

Don't know where I'm going.

Are you ready to give up

On me now?

Thank you for coming;

So sorry to waste your time.

I'm tired of running,

But don't know how

To set things right.

Let me go now,

Just let me go

And save yourself.

I'm too broken to save;

Past my warranty date.

Are you ready to give up

On me now?

I'm too stubborn to change;

Too lost to find my way.

Are you ready to give up

On me now?

Thank you for coming;

So sorry to waste your time.

I'm tired of running,

But I don't know how

To set things right.

Let me go now,

Just let me go

And save yourself.

Hello Is Happiness

Four days.

For four days

I was happy.

Maybe

That is my limit.

Four days.

And then

It happens.

The crash.

The burn.

The fear.

The anger.

The bitterness.

The tears.

The walls.

Why the walls?

Why so high?

Why so thick?

Why so long?

Is it better

To wall up my heart

Then to be 

Walled off

From yours?

Hello

Is happiness.

Goodbye

Is death.

I have never

Felt a pain

Quite like silence.

So I am silent

To you

Before

You

Are silent

To me.

And that

Is still death.

Please,

If you can,

Climb a ladder,

Or fire a cannon.

Don't let me

Shut you out.

Don't let me 

Self destruct.

If you miss me,

I miss you too.

Hello

Is happiness.

Goodbye

Is death.

Why Do I Try?

I don't know

If you want to see me.

I don't know

If I should bother going.

You say we're friends,

But we lost touch,

And you feel a world away.

I know you're busy,

But why do we do this?

Why do we get so busy

With things instead of people?

Do you call people you haven't

Seen

Or spoken to

Or thought of

In weeks

Your friends?

In months?

In years?

Where is the line?

When do you

Finally know it's over?

I feel as though

I'm trying to raise the dead.

I feel as though

I'm still running

In a race that ended yesterday.

I feel as though

I'm waiting outside a store

That will never open again.

I feel as though

I keep calling a number

That's been disconnected.

I feel as though

I'm trying to hold

The moon in the sky.

It's too heavy for me.

I can't do it.

There's no point

In doing it.

Why do I try?

I don't know

If you want to hear from me.

I don't know

If that's the only time

I cross your mind.

I've nearly forgotten

Why you ever cross mine.

This probably

Isn't fair.

This probably

Won't change anything.

This probably

Will never reach you.

You probably

Won't understand.

I don't know

Why I'm writing it;

I don't know

What else to do.

I'm sorry.

I've said it

A thousand times;

You probably want

To smack me,

Like a broken cd player.

But it's still true.

I'm sorry.

I don't know.

Alone

You feel so small.

I know,

Because I feel small, too.

You feel lost.

You feel broken.

You feel helpless.

You feel alone.

But you are not as alone

As you think.

I know,

Because I feel alone, too.

In the darkest hour of night

When your head hurts

And your pillow feels hard

And your feet are too cold

And the tears won't stop

But you have to be quiet

Because how would you explain

If they found you --

When you reach your hand out

And grab the edge of your sheet

Because you have nothing else

To hold onto,

And no one else is there,

You are not the only one.

I am gripping the edge of my sheet

Or my pillow,

Or tearing at my own skin

Like a lifeline.

You are not alone.

When you think

All you have to hold onto

Is a cold bed sheet,

Close your eyes,

And hold your hand instead,

And imagine it is my hand.

I will be imaging that I am holding yours.

Because that's all we want, isn't it?

A hand to hold onto;

To know that we aren't alone.

And tomorrow

Might not be any better;

Every face you look at

May look dumb

And lifeless,

And you may wonder

"Maybe we are lifeless.

Maybe we have nothing

To hold onto."

But don't let go.

Don't give up.

Because if I go,

Who's hand

Will you hold onto?

And if you go,

Who's hand

Will I hold onto?

Please hold on.

I don't want to be alone.

The Wait

Please don't give up on me

When I give up on myself;

Please don't think I'm a stranger

When I don't sound like myself.

I know it's hard for you;

You know it's hard for me.

But I always find my way back

To who I used to be.

It's been a long wait,

But now maybe it's over.

Just seeing your name

Takes so much weight off of my shoulders.

I'm trying to give it time;

This might not be what I think.

But I was glad you said hello,

And I feel farther from the brink.

I'd forgotten about happy;

I'd forgotten about smiles.

But now you make me think

It was worth waiting awhile.

I won't say I love you;

I don't know if it's that.

But you won't hear me complain

If it blossoms into that.

(The Possibility of) Something Good

It's the possibility of something good.

It fell out of the sky and into my lap,

Like a gift from Heaven

That I haven't opened yet.

And I am happy,

Not least of all

Because I wasn't expecting it.

It's the possibility of something good,

And just sitting here like normal,

Every now and then a smile

Creeps onto my face,

Like a ripple in the ocean,

And I feel warm and safe.

If anyone had told me

"Tomorrow, things will be much better,"

I would have thought they were crazy.

And yet, today

I have the possibility of something good,

And I am happy.

It's only a possibility;

It may come to nothing,

But the possibility itself is something good.

Don't Forget About Me

When I wander all alone

Looking for some kind of home,

Wondering who I will see,

Don't forget about me.

When I break my heart in pieces,

Lose myself in some dark places,

Not sure who I'm supposed to be,

Don't forget about me.

I hope that you'll be happy;

I hope that you'll be carefree;

I hope that you'll find all that you need,

And I hope that you'll remember me.

If This Is Life

There is something slithering

Just beneath my skin.

If this is life,

Creeping beneath my surface,

I don't want it.

Tear it out of me

Like a scream,

Like a shower of tears,

Like a bad dream.

There is something crawling

Up my spine,

Whispering dark secrets

In my ear.

If this is life,

Shivering in my bones,

I can't bear it.

Squeeze it out of me.

Slice it.

Beat it.

Starve it.

Crush it.
Burn it.

Drown it.

Do whatever you must.

But if this is life,

Take it away.

I can't hold it anymore.

I Don't Feel Safe

Wrap me under your cloak.

Let me pretend to be untouchable.

Forgive me if I seem to doubt you;

I don't feel safe.

A day of reckoning is coming.

The odds are not in my favour.

I can feel the darkness in my chest;

I don't feel safe.

Am I unforgivable?

Are you going to wake up one day,

And suddenly see me differently?

I don't feel safe.

If I walk away now, will you forget me?

Will I vanish in my own darkness?

Will I damn my own soul?

I don't feel safe.

You are not weak.

You are not cruel.

But you can not save me from myself.

I don't feel safe.

I must collapse against the wall,

So that I know it isn't caving in.

But I can not collapse against my heart.

I don't feel safe.

These doors are so close;

They're not even locked.

But I can't even rise to open them.

I don't feel safe.

I am weak and deflated.

I hear my heart beat like a hammer,

Breaking me to pieces.

I don't feel safe.

If I push you away, will I be unforgivable?

Will I be banishing myself forever?

Will I be damning my own soul?

I don't feel safe.

I don't feel safe...

Just Friends

Love don't have to mean wedding bells;

I can love you just as well

As your friend;

Maybe even better.

Love don't have to mean a wedding ring;

I'm not here expecting anything.

I know that we are just friends.

I won't try to change your mind;

I'm better off trying to change mine.

I wanna thank you for being so kind;

I'm so glad you're my friend.

But still, late at night,

I can feel so alone sometimes;

I start to think about you and I,

And what might have been.

But it's a waste of time;

I have wasted so much time.

Especially mine.

I know that I'm just a friend.

All we'll ever be is just friends.

All you want to be is just friends.

All he ever sees is just friends.