Friday, December 1, 2017

Can't Tell You No

It's far too late,
And this isn't right,
But I've been waiting for you
All of my life.
I've been waiting for you
For such a long time;
How could I make myself
Tell you goodbye?
My body is shaking,
And I don't know why.
My body is shaking,
And I'm out of my mind.
Can you feel it, too?
Can you hear me sigh?
I love you, baby;
I can't say good night.
I can't tell you no;
Couldn't if I tried.
I can't tell you no, babe,
And I don't want to fight it.
I long to be near you,
And I can't hide it.
So whisper softly in my ear;
I'll close my eyes,
And wish you here.
And when you're finally
At my side,
I'll pull you closer,
Close as you like.
Then you can kiss
My racing heart,
And we'll never have to
Be apart.

Invincible

I'm invincible
In your arms;
There I'll rest,
Safe from harm.
I'm invincible
By your side;
In your heart
I can hide.
I'm invincible
With your love;
You make me feel
Like I'm enough.
I'm invincible
Holding your hand;
I'm your girl,
And you're my man.
I'm invincible
When I see your eyes;
You smile at me,
And I'm satisfied.
I'm invincible
When you lift me up.
I'm not afraid;
I have your love.
I'm invincible
As long as you're here;
I won't leave,
Don't you fear.
I'm invincible
If I have you,
So let me say
I love you, too.

Thursday, November 16, 2017

Permanent Place

You aren't just time that I'm wasting;
You aren't just a smile on my face.
This home you and I are building,
It is a permanent place.
You aren't just one among many;
You aren't just a childish phase.
You aren't just someone to hold me;
You are my permanent place.
And if you should leave,
I would have to leave too,
Because now my life
Is tied to you.
And if you should cry,
Then I would cry too,
Because my heart and my soul
Are tied to you.
You aren't just a hand in my hand;
You aren't just a good looking face.
You aren't the cheap off-brand;
Babe, you're my permanent place.
And if you should leave,
I would have to leave too,
Because now my life
Is tied to you.
And if you should cry,
Then I would cry too,
Because my heart and my soul
Are tied to you.
You are my permanent place.

Saturday, November 4, 2017

Darling, I Love You

Your heart
Is the biggest heart I know,
And your hand
Is the only hand I hold.
Your smile
Is the brightest smile I've seen,
And your voice
Is the sweetest sound to me,
And in case it isn't clear
I want to say for all to hear
Darling, I love you.
Darling, I love you.
Darling, I love you.
Your home
Will be my home one day,
And your name
Is going to be my name.
My lips
Will be your lips to kiss,
And your kids
Are gonna be my kids.
I'm sure you've guessed by now,
But if you haven't yet somehow,
Darling, I love you.
Darling, I love you.
Darling, I love you.
Your heart
Is the biggest heart I know;
Where you are
Is where I want to go.
And I've said it before,
But I can't help saying it more;
Darling, I love you.
Darling, I love you.
Darling, I love you.

Monday, October 30, 2017

My Wings

You love me like
My flaws aren't as big
As I thought they were,
And I don't have to be sorry
For my every word.
I can finally fall asleep
Without being afraid,
Because I know that you'll
Be there when I wake.
If the ground dissolves
Beneath my feet,
You're the only wings
That I'll need.
I can walk on water
And brave Hell's flame
When on the other end
I hear you calling my name.
Just keep doing
What you already do;
I don't love someone
You could be;
I'm in love with you.

Thursday, October 26, 2017

Worth The Wait

When you came into my life
You chased the storm away;
Now everything is golden
Where it once was gray
I can't seem to stop smiling,
And I don't know what to say;
We both know I'm not perfect,
But you love me anyway.
My whole life I've been running,
But you make me want to stay,
And if this is a dream,
Then I hope I never wake.
When I thought that I was lost
You showed me a new way;
I had given up all hope,
But you were worth the wait.

Friday, October 6, 2017

The Wolf And Me

Are you happy with yourself?
You don't seem happy with anyone else.
Maybe you're just tired of us all.
I can't say I mind;
I've felt the same way for a long time.
There's still some things
I just can't say out loud.
But are you lonely now?
I still get that way somehow.
Maybe that's why the wolf
Howls at the moon,
And even now, I can't help
But talk to you.

Wednesday, October 4, 2017

Some Feelings


I posted this once, then decided I didn't like it and reverted it to a draft for some reason. Here is is again, unchanged from before. :P

I don't sleep on my thoughts;
They sleep on me.
They weigh me down
Like a blanket of bricks.
I'll be alright;
Just stay by me.
I always forget
You're on my side.
I don't mean to make you
Feel low;
I keep going down,
Cuz I don't know where else to go.
If you can fly,
Show me how;
I guess I must have lost
My wings somehow.
If you forget how to love,
Hurry up and remember;
I can't wait until
Next September
For you to find your way
Back to me.
Forget this whole thing;
Let's just call it a night.
Some feelings can't be worded right.

I Am Wicked

I am wicked.
I can see no tomorrow;
Not for me.
The world may not end tonight
But I already have.
I am wicked.
I'm not a good friend.
Don't tell me I am.
If I were good,
I would be gone by now.
The dirty deed
Would already be done.
I hang around
And hang around
And hang around
And never just...
Don't misunderstand me.
I don't want to go.
I don't want to go.
But I can't stay any longer.
I'm out of options.
It's not the same.
I am wicked.
I am selfish
And lazy
And foolish.
No one needs me
And I am wicked.
You can tell me
And tell me
And tell me,
But I don't believe you love me.
I don't believe He loves me.
I don't believe it gets any better.
Just laugh with me one last time.
Hug me
Even though I'll tell you not to.
Sing to me.
I am wicked.
But please
Don't let me die alone.

I Want To See Where This Goes

I've been thinking 'bout where this could go
If you'd just ask one simple question.
What's the answer?
Well, I don't know,
But it feels like we're headed
In some sort of direction.
Pull me up,
Or put me down,
Take me there,
Or turn me around;
I want to see where this goes.
I want to see where this goes.
Spin me left,
Point me right,
Bring me back,
Let's drive all night;
I want to see where this goes.
I want to see where this goes.
I've been thinking 'bout where this could go
If I could just get the words out.
Is it too soon?
Are you ready?
I'm not sure,
But maybe we're headed
That direction.
Pull me up,
Or put me down,
Take me there,
Or turn me around;
I want to see where this goes.
I want to see where this goes.
Spin me left,
Point me right,
Bring me back,
Let's drive all night;
I want to see where this goes.
I want to see where this goes.
Do you see what I see?
Are you coming with me?
I'm not sure where we're headed,
But I want to see where this goes.
I want to see where this goes.
I'm thinking about one simple question.
What's the answer?
I don't quite know,
But I think we're headed some direction.
Pull me up;
I know you won't put me down.
Take my hand
And spin me around.
I want to see where this goes.
I want to see where this goes.
Spin me left,
Dip me right,
Bring me back,
Let's laugh all night;
I want to see where this goes.
I want to see where this goes.
I want to see where this goes.
I want to see where this goes.

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Even Before The Storm Breaks

You feel like
The eye of the storm;
Chaos all around me,
But you keep me warm.
I talk to you;
You already know.
I give you my heart;
You don't let it go.
And though the wind and rain
Knock me to the ground
I know that you will never
Let me drown.
So I feel safe,
Even before the storm breaks.
You feel like
The eye of the storm;
If I stay with you
I won't be harmed.
I can stand still,
While people run away.
I listen to you;
You know just what to say.
Though the wind and rain may
Knock me to the ground
If you hold my hand, I know
I won't drown.
So I'm not afraid,
Even before the storm breaks.
As long as I'm with you,
I feel safe
Even before the storm breaks.

Blank Check

My love for you is a blank check, baby;
Fill in what you need.
You got it;
With draw it;
No limit
With me.
I know nobody's perfect,
But your love is everything to me.
I mean it;
Believe it;
I need it;
Need you.
I know that it sounds silly,
But I mean every word.
When you say that you love me
It's the most beautiful thing
That I've ever heard.
My love for you is a blank check, baby;
Just tell me what you need.
You get it;
Forget it;
No fine line
With me.
I know nobody's perfect,
But your love is everything to me.
I mean it;
Believe it;
I need it;
Need you.

I Feel Empty

I feel empty;
I don't know if it's you,
Or if it's me.
I feel empty,
Like there's somewhere else,
But there's nowhere else
For me to be.
Where should I be?
If I search a little harder
Could I find it?
If I wished a little harder
Could I find it?
I feel empty;
I don't know if it's me,
Or it's this place.
I feel empty;
I keep looking for someone,
Like someone could fill this space.
Who could it be?
If I looked a little harder
Could I see it?
If I tried a little harder
Could I be it?
Who should I be?
I feel empty.

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Does This Cover Everything?

I'm sorry I can't meet your eye
I'm sorry I don't know what to say
I'm sorry I can't sit beside you
I'm sorry that I turn away

I'm sorry that I'm so awkward
I'm sorry I say sorry so much
I'm sorry I cancel so often
I'm sorry that I'm not enough

I'm sorry that I'm so selfish
I'm sorry I can't see what you see
I'm sorry I need you so often
I'm sorry I don't know who to be

I'm sorry that I'm so obnoxious
I'm sorry I so easily cry
I'm sorry I don't smile more often
I'm sorry that I don't know why

I'm sorry that I never call you
I'm sorry you think I don't try
I'm sorry that I'm so lazy
I'm sorry that I want to die.

Monday, September 18, 2017

Yesterday Was Good

Yesterday was good.
Yesterday was good.
I have to keep telling myself,
Lest I forget,
And fall too deeply into today.
How can they highest of days
Transition into the lowest
So easily?
Today was not --
Today was --
Yesterday was good.
I don't know what else to say.
Does pain matter?
Does happiness matter?
Does anything matter?
Does it matter if --
Yesterday was good.
Take another breath.
Say it again.
Yesterday was good.
Take another breath.
Say it again.
Yesterday was good.
I'm tired.
I'm broken.
It's too late to repair this day.
But yesterday was --
Yesterday was good.
That must mean
There are still good days.

Dirty Hands

No matter what I do I feel selfish;
No matter how I try I fall short.
I can't tell anyone about this;
To hear it said would only
Break their hearts.
I pray that God forgive me,
But I'm not sure He can;
Have any of His children
Ever had such dirty hands?
However far I go, I'm still lost;
Whoever I try to help, I only hurt.
Maybe it's time I followed through;
I'd only be getting what I deserve.
Whatever I try to fix, I only break;
Whatever I try to say, comes out wrong.
I know people who say that they love me,
But I don't think they'll love me til I'm gone.
I pray that God forgive me,
But I'm not sure He can;
Have any of His children
Ever had such dirty hands?
I'm so sure that He's angry,
And I know that I can't hide,
But maybe He'd forgive me
If I finally just died.
They say that God forgives me,
But I'm not sure I can.
They say He's made me clean,
But I don't feel like I am.
I thought I was on solid ground,
But I settled in the sand.
I pray that God forgive me,
But I'm not sure that He can.
I pray that God forgive me,
But I have such dirty hands.

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

I'm Trying

Where did I go wrong?
I'm exhausted as Hell.
My life is a mess,
But I wear it so well.
Awake at night;
Asleep in the morning.
I lose my temper
Without any warning.
Get out of my face.
I'm so tired of this.
There's a girl in the mirror;
I don't know who she is.
You say I'm not trying;
I'm trying so hard,
I'm just not as successful
As you are.
I feel guilty
Whatever I do;
I feel selfish,
And of no use.
But I am trying hard;
Please be patient with me.
I love you too much
To just let you leave.
I'm not easy to love;
I know, I don't love myself.
But help me to prove
I can love you well.

The Moon Or The Road?

I'm looking at the moon
Instead of at the road.
I don't care if I crash;
I don't care where I go.
Something tonight
Is doing something to me.
I only steer steady
Because I know
That I don't know
Who I might take with me
If I just let myself go.
I look away from the moon
And back at the road;
This night, at least,
I'll make it home.


Love Like You

So much to say;
I don't know where to start,
But saying nothing
Is breaking your heart.
Forgive me
For where I went wrong.
Is it too late?
Are you already gone?
Please come back;
I'll do whatever it takes.
I was mistaken
To love you my way.
Such an old friend;
Such a dear gal.
Such a beautiful person;
Please don't leave me now.
I'll find a way
To be more like you;
I'm a bit out of practice.
I'm not sure what to do.
But I'm trying so hard;
I hope you can see.
I'll love more like you
If you can't love like me.

I'm Sorry Again

You seem so far away,
Even though you're right there.
The green dot means "go,"
But all I do is stare.
I can't keep up;
I don't know what to say,
And you try to tell me
I don't want to, anyway.

I'm sorry again;
I'm sorry again.
Not sure just what I did,
But I'm sorry again.
I'm sorry again;
I'm sorry again.
I'll take the blame;
I'm sorry again.
I'm sorry again;
I'm sorry again.
Please don't leave;
I'm sorry again.
I'm sorry again;
I'm sorry again.
I'll do what I can;
I'm sorry again.

I click on your name
To see what you have to say
Wondering what I've done
To hurt you today.
You claim I have expectations,
But this feels like your game.
You set a timer
And say it's my turn to play.

I'm sorry again;
I'm sorry again.
Not sure just what I did,
But I'm sorry again.
I'm sorry again;
I'm sorry again.
I'll take the blame;
I'm sorry again.
I'm sorry again;
I'm sorry again.
Please don't leave;
I'm sorry again.
I'm sorry again;
I'm sorry again.
I'll do what I can;
I'm sorry again.

I'm so tired of fighting
When I thought we were friends.
I'm a little bit shocked
At the things you said.
I wasn't trying to hurt you,
Or to be unfair;
I didn't want you to think
That I didn't care.

I'm sorry again;
I'm sorry again.
Not sure just what I did,
But I'm sorry again.
I'm sorry again;
I'm sorry again.
I'll take the blame;
I'm sorry again.
I'm sorry again;
I'm sorry again.
Please don't leave;
I'm sorry again.
I'm sorry again;
I'm sorry again.
I'll do what I can;
I'm sorry again.

Writing

Every line is just an echo;
Years of writing, 
And nothing to show.
Lines of tears
Running down my cheeks;
Years of life
That don't mean anything.
I forget I have friends;
I forget that they care.
Any time we're not talking
I forget that they're there.
I feel like I'm living
My life on repeat;
Hundreds of lines
Just saying the same thing.
I hope it helps someone;
I hope it helps you.
I just keep on writing;
I don't know what else to do.

Tonight

Tonight
Is remarkable.
I am content to be alive.
I believe tomorrow will be good.
Tonight
Is beautiful;
I'm even smiling.
Tonight
All I can think about is
How lucky I am
To know you,
And when I can see you again.
Tonight
Is so strange
In the best way.
Do you have any idea
How rare this is?
I know it won't last forever,
So I hold onto it tightly,
Like the string of a balloon,
Like a rope pulling me up from a cliff.
It's late, but I'm writing this
So that I don't forget
Tonight.

Tuesday, September 5, 2017

The Illness

I don't know what to say
To make you smile;
Your eyes turned toward the grave,
And they've been there awhile.
You don't know how to laugh;
You don't know how to grin.
Your illness tells you to die,
And you just might give in.
I don't know what to say;
It just seems so wrong.
I could beg you to stay,
But you're already gone.
I knew who you were,
But somehow you've changed;
I must learn to love you
In a new way.

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Maybe I Am Human

Maybe I am only
As real as tomorrow
And if you try to hold me
I will be gone.
Maybe I am lonely
'Cause I don't know who
To follow;
I'd rather stand still
Than be wrong.
But maybe I'm alive,
And I have flesh and blood.
Maybe I can bleed,
And maybe I can love.
Don't give up on me
Just 'cause I'm lost.
I'll come back;
I have in the past.
Maybe I am human.
Maybe I am human.
Maybe I am more
Than my pain.
Maybe I'll only last
As long as yesterday
And just like flowers and grass
My colors fade.
Maybe I can fly as
High as penguins can;
Why should I fall
When I can stand?
But maybe I'm alive,
And I have flesh and blood.
Maybe I can bleed,
And maybe I can love.
Don't give up on me
Just 'cause I'm lost.
I'll come back;
I have in the past.
Maybe I am human.
Maybe I am human.
Maybe I am more
Than my pain.
Maybe I'm alive,
And I have flesh and blood,
Maybe I can bleed,
And maybe I can love.
Don't give up on me
Just 'cause I'm lost.
I'll come back;
I have in the past.
Maybe I am human.
Maybe I am human.
Maybe I am more
Than my pain.
Maybe I am human.
Maybe I am human.
Maybe I am human.
Maybe I am human.
Maybe I am more
Than my pain.

Monday, August 28, 2017

Come Back

Shut up, shut up;
That's not what I want.
I say things I don't mean
And don't know how to stop.
Come back, come back;
I don't know what to do.
Who will love me
If not you?
Say it's my fault;
I'll take the blame,
As long as you
Don't go away.
I remember
When we were small
We didn't fight
Like this at all.
You'd think that now
That we're grown
We'd be more mature
Than when we were young.

Fine.

Fine.
I'm sorry.
Is that what you want?
I'm still not sure
What I did wrong.
Fine.
Scream.
Yell at me.
I'll become the person
That you think is me.
Fine.
Go on.
Point the finger at me.
You think that I'm gone?
I guess that I'll leave.
Fine.
Cry.
You'll know what
It's like.
You say we're not friends?
You always were mine.
Fine.
Say sorry,
But don't change your tune.
You're not who you were,
And I don't need this you.
Fine.
Give up.
I give up too.
I guess I've done all 
I can think of to do.

Sunday, August 27, 2017

Lost

I got lost, and I don't know how
But maybe I need to be lost right now.
It's too dark on my left,
And too bright to my right,
And here in the middle
It's just too tight.
I hear goodbyes that I never said,
And bake tears into my daily bread.
But you don't need to see them;
They aren't yours to see.
They're a gift from myself
That I give back to me.
If I wake up tomorrow
I guess that's my fault, too;
I'm sorry that I'm such a burden on you.

( )

I'm not afraid of the dark
(Oh yes I am)
I'll do it myself
(No, I can't)
I don't need people
(Oh yes I do)
I don't need people
(I need you)
I don't care
(Those words sting)
I give up
(Are you listening?)
I don't care
(How could you?)
I give up
(What can I do?)
I'm not afraid
(I feel so scared)
I don't need help
(Is anyone there?)
Just go away
(Please come back)
Just go away
(I don't mean that)
It's not my fault
(I'm so sorry)
I'm sorry
(I don't know what to do)
I'm sorry
(Just say I forgive you)
Just go away
(Don't go too far)
I'm glad you're my friend
(I don't know why you are)
I don't know
(I can't explain)
Please forgive me
(I don't think you can)
Nothing's wrong
(I can't tell you)
How was your day?
(I miss you)
I don't need help
(Please help me)
I'm just tired
(I can't sleep)
I love you
(Do you hate me?)
I'm okay
(I don't know who to be)
It's not your fault
(I think I've wasted your time)
Something came up.
(You've wasted mine,)

Teacher

Teacher, Teacher,
With the rod,
Whacks the kids
Who start to nod.
Teacher, Teacher,
With her hand,
Smacks the kids
When they are bad.
Teacher, Teacher,
With the switch
It wasn't me,
It was the snitch!
Teacher, Teacher
With her belt
Gives my back
A great big welt.
Teacher's had a
Long, long day,
But not so sore
A one as me.

I Know It Could Kill Me

I shouldn't bathe
When I feel so low;
The water could kill me,
And I know.
I shouldn't whittle
When I feel so low;
The knife could kill me,
And I know.
I shouldn't drive
When I feel so low;
A wrong turn could kill me,
And I know.
My head shouldn't hurt
When I feel so low;
The painkillers could kill me,
And I know.
I shouldn't sleep
When I feel so low;
My pillow could kill me,
And I know.
I shouldn't light candles
When I feel so low;
The fire could kill me,
And I know.
I shouldn't wander
When I feel so low;
Someone could kill me,
And I know.
I shouldn't talk
When I feel so low;
Words could kill me,
And you don't know.

Your Call

I meant to be a good friend,
But here we are
Staring down a hole
That used to be my heart.
I'm more at home
In the dark, all alone
Than on the phone
With you, or with anyone.
I tried;
I thought I tried,
But I'm no good
At hellos or goodbyes
And you didn't hear me
When you needed to.
You can't answer questions
That I don't ask;
So here I am,
Looking over letters;
Just like sand
You're slipping through my fingers,
And I can't get back
What I've let blow away.
I guess
Thinking I was doing my very best
Wasn't quite enough;
I didn't hold on tight
Like I should have.
And now it's goodbye
Even if we never say the words.
I guess I lost something
I thought that I was holding;
I guess I fell asleep
When I should have been driving.
I didn't know I was falling
Til I hit the ground;
Don't you think that
I would have turned around?
In the end, it's your call;
Give up on me,
If it's what you want,
But please don't think

I don't care at all.

Monday, August 14, 2017

Give Up On Me (Save Yourself)

I've fallen past saving;
I've got too many demons.
Are you read to give up
On me now?
Don't know what I'm doing;
Don't know where I'm going.
Are you ready to give up
On me now?
Thank you for coming;
So sorry to waste your time.
I'm tired of running,
But don't know how
To set things right.
Let me go now,
Just let me go
And save yourself.
I'm too broken to save;
Past my warranty date.
Are you ready to give up
On me now?
I'm too stubborn to change;
Too lost to find my way.
Are you ready to give up
On me now?
Thank you for coming;
So sorry to waste your time.
I'm tired of running,
But I don't know how
To set things right.
Let me go now,
Just let me go
And save yourself.

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Hello Is Happiness

Four days.
For four days
I was happy.
Maybe
That is my limit.
Four days.
And then
It happens.
The crash.
The burn.
The fear.
The anger.
The bitterness.
The tears.
The walls.
Why the walls?
Why so high?
Why so thick?
Why so long?
Is it better
To wall up my heart
Then to be 
Walled off
From yours?
Hello
Is happiness.
Goodbye
Is death.
I have never
Felt a pain
Quite like silence.
So I am silent
To you
Before
You
Are silent
To me.


And that
Is still death.
Please,
If you can,
Climb a ladder,
Or fire a cannon.
Don't let me
Shut you out.
Don't let me 
Self destruct.
If you miss me,
I miss you too.

Hello
Is happiness.
Goodbye
Is death.

Why Do I Try?

I don't know
If you want to see me.
I don't know
If I should bother going.
You say we're friends,
But we lost touch,
And you feel a world away.
I know you're busy,
But why do we do this?
Why do we get so busy
With things instead of people?
Do you call people you haven't
Seen
Or spoken to
Or thought of
In weeks
Your friends?
In months?
In years?
Where is the line?
When do you
Finally know it's over?
I feel as though
I'm trying to raise the dead.
I feel as though
I'm still running
In a race that ended yesterday.
I feel as though
I'm waiting outside a store
That will never open again.
I feel as though
I keep calling a number
That's been disconnected.
I feel as though
I'm trying to hold
The moon in the sky.
It's too heavy for me.
I can't do it.
There's no point
In doing it.
Why do I try?
I don't know
If you want to hear from me.
I don't know
If that's the only time
I cross your mind.
I've nearly forgotten
Why you ever cross mine.
This probably
Isn't fair.
This probably
Won't change anything.
This probably
Will never reach you.
You probably
Won't understand.
I don't know
Why I'm writing it;
I don't know
What else to do.
I'm sorry.
I've said it
A thousand times;
You probably want
To smack me,
Like a broken cd player.
But it's still true.
I'm sorry.
I don't know.

Alone

You feel so small.
I know,
Because I feel small, too.
You feel lost.
You feel broken.
You feel helpless.
You feel alone.
But you are not as alone
As you think.
I know,
Because I feel alone, too.
In the darkest hour of night
When your head hurts
And your pillow feels hard
And your feet are too cold
And the tears won't stop
But you have to be quiet
Because how would you explain
If they found you --
When you reach your hand out
And grab the edge of your sheet
Because you have nothing else
To hold onto,
And no one else is there,
You are not the only one.
I am gripping the edge of my sheet
Or my pillow,
Or tearing at my own skin
Like a lifeline.
You are not alone.
When you think
All you have to hold onto
Is a cold bed sheet,
Close your eyes,
And hold your hand instead,
And imagine it is my hand.
I will be imaging that I am holding yours.
Because that's all we want, isn't it?
A hand to hold onto;
To know that we aren't alone.
And tomorrow
Might not be any better;
Every face you look at
May look dumb
And lifeless,
And you may wonder
"Maybe we are lifeless.
Maybe we have nothing
To hold onto."
But don't let go.
Don't give up.
Because if I go,
Who's hand
Will you hold onto?
And if you go,
Who's hand
Will I hold onto?
Please hold on.
I don't want to be alone.

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Sunday, August 6, 2017

The Wait

Please don't give up on me
When I give up on myself;
Please don't think I'm a stranger
When I don't sound like myself.
I know it's hard for you;
You know it's hard for me.
But I always find my way back
To who I used to be.
It's been a long wait,
But now maybe it's over.
Just seeing your name
Takes so much weight off of my shoulders.
I'm trying to give it time;
This might not be what I think.
But I was glad you said hello,
And I feel farther from the brink.
I'd forgotten about happy;
I'd forgotten about smiles.
But now you make me think
It was worth waiting awhile.
I won't say I love you;
I don't know if it's that.
But you won't hear me complain
If it blossoms into that.

Saturday, August 5, 2017

(The Possibility of) Something Good

It's the possibility of something good.
It fell out of the sky and into my lap,
Like a gift from Heaven
That I haven't opened yet.
And I am happy,
Not least of all
Because I wasn't expecting it.
It's the possibility of something good,
And just sitting here like normal,
Every now and then a smile
Creeps onto my face,
Like a ripple in the ocean,
And I feel warm and safe.
If anyone had told me
"Tomorrow, things will be much better,"
I would have thought they were crazy.
And yet, today
I have the possibility of something good,
And I am happy.
It's only a possibility;
It may come to nothing,
But the possibility itself is something good.

Monday, July 17, 2017

Don't Forget About Me

When I wander all alone
Looking for some kind of home,
Wondering who I will see,
Don't forget about me.
When I break my heart in pieces,
Lose myself in some dark places,
Not sure who I'm supposed to be,
Don't forget about me.
I hope that you'll be happy;
I hope that you'll be carefree;
I hope that you'll find all that you need,
And I hope that you'll remember me.

Sunday, July 16, 2017

If This Is Life

There is something slithering
Just beneath my skin.
If this is life,
Creeping beneath my surface,
I don't want it.
Tear it out of me
Like a scream,
Like a shower of tears,
Like a bad dream.
There is something crawling
Up my spine,
Whispering dark secrets
In my ear.
If this is life,
Shivering in my bones,
I can't bear it.
Squeeze it out of me.
Slice it.
Beat it.
Starve it.
Crush it.
Burn it.
Drown it.
Do whatever you must.
But if this is life,
Take it away.
I can't hold it anymore.

I Don't Feel Safe

Wrap me under your cloak.
Let me pretend to be untouchable.
Forgive me if I seem to doubt you;
I don't feel safe.
A day of reckoning is coming.
The odds are not in my favour.
I can feel the darkness in my chest;
I don't feel safe.
Am I unforgivable?
Are you going to wake up one day,
And suddenly see me differently?
I don't feel safe.
If I walk away now, will you forget me?
Will I vanish in my own darkness?
Will I damn my own soul?
I don't feel safe.
You are not weak.
You are not cruel.
But you can not save me from myself.
I don't feel safe.
I must collapse against the wall,
So that I know it isn't caving in.
But I can not collapse against my heart.
I don't feel safe.
These doors are so close;
They're not even locked.
But I can't even rise to open them.
I don't feel safe.
I am weak and deflated.
I hear my heart beat like a hammer,
Breaking me to pieces.
I don't feel safe.
If I push you away, will I be unforgivable?
Will I be banishing myself forever?
Will I be damning my own soul?
I don't feel safe.

I don't feel safe...

Friday, July 14, 2017

Just Friends

Love don't have to mean wedding bells;
I can love you just as well
As your friend;
Maybe even better.
Love don't have to mean a wedding ring;
I'm not here expecting anything.
I know that we are just friends.
I won't try to change your mind;
I'm better off trying to change mine.
I wanna thank you for being so kind;
I'm so glad you're my friend.
But still, late at night,
I can feel so alone sometimes;
I start to think about you and I,
And what might have been.
But it's a waste of time;
I have wasted so much time.
Especially mine.
I know that I'm just a friend.
All we'll ever be is just friends.
All you want to be is just friends.
All he ever sees is just friends.

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

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Friday, July 7, 2017

Bad Friend

It's 2am.
I shouldn't be up,
But my mind doesn't care.
It's asking me
Why I am such a coward?
Why I am such a bad friend?
If I really cared about them,
I wouldn't be breathing right now.
Everything I do is selfish.
Even when I do the right thing,
It's for the wrong reasons.
They can claim that they'd miss me,
But they can't name one thing
They'd miss about me.
I am replaceable.
I am forgettable.
The most valuable thing about me
Is my organs.
Why am I such a coward?
Why am I such a bad friend?
If I really cared about them,
I wouldn't be breathing right now.
I shouldn't be breathing right now.
It's 2:05am.

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Thursday, July 6, 2017

SALE!!!

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