Monday, July 17, 2017

Don't Forget About Me

When I wander all alone
Looking for some kind of home,
Wondering who I will see,
Don't forget about me.
When I break my heart in pieces,
Lose myself in some dark places,
Not sure who I'm supposed to be,
Don't forget about me.
I hope that you'll be happy;
I hope that you'll be carefree;
I hope that you'll find all that you need,
And I hope that you'll remember me.

Sunday, July 16, 2017

If This Is Life

There is something slithering
Just beneath my skin.
If this is life,
Creeping beneath my surface,
I don't want it.
Tear it out of me
Like a scream,
Like a shower of tears,
Like a bad dream.
There is something crawling
Up my spine,
Whispering dark secrets
In my ear.
If this is life,
Shivering in my bones,
I can't bear it.
Squeeze it out of me.
Slice it.
Beat it.
Starve it.
Crush it.
Burn it.
Drown it.
Do whatever you must.
But if this is life,
Take it away.
I can't hold it anymore.

I Don't Feel Safe

Wrap me under your cloak.
Let me pretend to be untouchable.
Forgive me if I seem to doubt you;
I don't feel safe.
A day of reckoning is coming.
The odds are not in my favour.
I can feel the darkness in my chest;
I don't feel safe.
Am I unforgivable?
Are you going to wake up one day,
And suddenly see me differently?
I don't feel safe.
If I walk away now, will you forget me?
Will I vanish in my own darkness?
Will I damn my own soul?
I don't feel safe.
You are not weak.
You are not cruel.
But you can not save me from myself.
I don't feel safe.
I must collapse against the wall,
So that I know it isn't caving in.
But I can not collapse against my heart.
I don't feel safe.
These doors are so close;
They're not even locked.
But I can't even rise to open them.
I don't feel safe.
I am weak and deflated.
I hear my heart beat like a hammer,
Breaking me to pieces.
I don't feel safe.
If I push you away, will I be unforgivable?
Will I be banishing myself forever?
Will I be damning my own soul?
I don't feel safe.

I don't feel safe...

Friday, July 14, 2017

Just Friends

Love don't have to mean wedding bells;
I can love you just as well
As your friend;
Maybe even better.
Love don't have to mean a wedding ring;
I'm not here expecting anything.
I know that we are just friends.
I won't try to change your mind;
I'm better off trying to change mine.
I wanna thank you for being so kind;
I'm so glad you're my friend.
But still, late at night,
I can feel so alone sometimes;
I start to think about you and I,
And what might have been.
But it's a waste of time;
I have wasted so much time.
Especially mine.
I know that I'm just a friend.
All we'll ever be is just friends.
All you want to be is just friends.
All he ever sees is just friends.

Friday, July 7, 2017

Bad Friend

It's 2am.
I shouldn't be up,
But my mind doesn't care.
It's asking me
Why I am such a coward?
Why I am such a bad friend?
If I really cared about them,
I wouldn't be breathing right now.
Everything I do is selfish.
Even when I do the right thing,
It's for the wrong reasons.
They can claim that they'd miss me,
But they can't name one thing
They'd miss about me.
I am replaceable.
I am forgettable.
The most valuable thing about me
Is my organs.
Why am I such a coward?
Why am I such a bad friend?
If I really cared about them,
I wouldn't be breathing right now.
I shouldn't be breathing right now.
It's 2:05am.

Thursday, July 6, 2017

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Wednesday, July 5, 2017

I'm Afraid

I'm afraid you read these words,
And afraid that you don't;
Afraid of what you'll think,
And afraid of what you won't.
I'm afraid to be seen;
Afraid to be alone.
There are monsters in my head
When you're here, and when you're gone.
I'm afraid to look at you,
And afraid to look away.
Afraid to take the bill,
And afraid to let you pay.
I'm afraid to leave my house,
And afraid to stay at home;
Afraid to shut you out,
And afraid I'll talk too long.
I'm afraid to smile,
And afraid to laugh too loud.
I'm afraid to be too quiet,
And to make too much sound.
I'm afraid to say I love you,
And afraid to say goodbye;
Afraid to tell the truth,
And afraid to tell a lie.
I'm afraid to be your friend,
And afraid to go away.
I'm afraid you'll think I'm mean,
So I'm afraid to stay.
I'm afraid to stand,
And afraid I shouldn't sit.
I'm afraid you'll think I'm boring,
Or a total twit.
I'm afraid that you'll worry;
Afraid you think that I'm okay.
Maybe I'm too scared
To make it through another day.

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https://soundcloud.com/monica-stuckwisch

Monday, July 3, 2017

Thin Line

I walk a thin line
Between the truth and a lie;
I walk a thin line
Between the devil and an angel.
I walk a thin line
Between living and dying;
I walk a thin line
Between heaven and hell.
My feet aren't too steady;
I think I'm falling.
No one's holding on to me;
No one is calling.
If I fall
I think I'll just disappear.
No one will recall
That I was once here.
But that's alright;
I'm still walking.
It's a thin line,
But at least I'm walking.

Sunday, July 2, 2017

Fight For This

Breathing out,
Breathing in;
Going out,
Coming in.
I have to fight for this;
I don't want to fight for this.
Lying down,
Rising again;
Eyes shut,
And opening.
I have to fight for this;
I don't want to fight for this.
Is this all there is?
Is it really worth all this?
I just feel like giving in;
I keep waiting for it all to end.
I don't want to fight for this;
I don't want to fight for this.