Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Does This Cover Everything?

I'm sorry I can't meet your eye
I'm sorry I don't know what to say
I'm sorry I can't sit beside you
I'm sorry that I turn away

I'm sorry that I'm so awkward
I'm sorry I say sorry so much
I'm sorry I cancel so often
I'm sorry that I'm not enough

I'm sorry that I'm so selfish
I'm sorry I can't see what you see
I'm sorry I need you so often
I'm sorry I don't know who to be

I'm sorry that I'm so obnoxious
I'm sorry I so easily cry
I'm sorry I don't smile more often
I'm sorry that I don't know why

I'm sorry that I never call you
I'm sorry you think I don't try
I'm sorry that I'm so lazy
I'm sorry that I want to die.

Monday, September 18, 2017

Yesterday Was Good

Yesterday was good.
Yesterday was good.
I have to keep telling myself,
Lest I forget,
And fall too deeply into today.
How can they highest of days
Transition into the lowest
So easily?
Today was not --
Today was --
Yesterday was good.
I don't know what else to say.
Does pain matter?
Does happiness matter?
Does anything matter?
Does it matter if --
Yesterday was good.
Take another breath.
Say it again.
Yesterday was good.
Take another breath.
Say it again.
Yesterday was good.
I'm tired.
I'm broken.
It's too late to repair this day.
But yesterday was --
Yesterday was good.
That must mean
There are still good days.

Dirty Hands

No matter what I do I feel selfish;
No matter how I try I fall short.
I can't tell anyone about this;
To hear it said would only
Break their hearts.
I pray that God forgive me,
But I'm not sure He can;
Have any of His children
Ever had such dirty hands?
However far I go, I'm still lost;
Whoever I try to help, I only hurt.
Maybe it's time I followed through;
I'd only be getting what I deserve.
Whatever I try to fix, I only break;
Whatever I try to say, comes out wrong.
I know people who say that they love me,
But I don't think they'll love me til I'm gone.
I pray that God forgive me,
But I'm not sure He can;
Have any of His children
Ever had such dirty hands?
I'm so sure that He's angry,
And I know that I can't hide,
But maybe He'd forgive me
If I finally just died.
They say that God forgives me,
But I'm not sure I can.
They say He's made me clean,
But I don't feel like I am.
I thought I was on solid ground,
But I settled in the sand.
I pray that God forgive me,
But I'm not sure that He can.
I pray that God forgive me,
But I have such dirty hands.

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

I'm Trying

Where did I go wrong?
I'm exhausted as Hell.
My life is a mess,
But I wear it so well.
Awake at night;
Asleep in the morning.
I lose my temper
Without any warning.
Get out of my face.
I'm so tired of this.
There's a girl in the mirror;
I don't know who she is.
You say I'm not trying;
I'm trying so hard,
I'm just not as successful
As you are.
I feel guilty
Whatever I do;
I feel selfish,
And of no use.
But I am trying hard;
Please be patient with me.
I love you too much
To just let you leave.
I'm not easy to love;
I know, I don't love myself.
But help me to prove
I can love you well.

The Moon Or The Road?

I'm looking at the moon
Instead of at the road.
I don't care if I crash;
I don't care where I go.
Something tonight
Is doing something to me.
I only steer steady
Because I know
That I don't know
Who I might take with me
If I just let myself go.
I look away from the moon
And back at the road;
This night, at least,
I'll make it home.


Love Like You

So much to say;
I don't know where to start,
But saying nothing
Is breaking your heart.
Forgive me
For where I went wrong.
Is it too late?
Are you already gone?
Please come back;
I'll do whatever it takes.
I was mistaken
To love you my way.
Such an old friend;
Such a dear gal.
Such a beautiful person;
Please don't leave me now.
I'll find a way
To be more like you;
I'm a bit out of practice.
I'm not sure what to do.
But I'm trying so hard;
I hope you can see.
I'll love more like you
If you can't love like me.

I'm Sorry Again

You seem so far away,
Even though you're right there.
The green dot means "go,"
But all I do is stare.
I can't keep up;
I don't know what to say,
And you try to tell me
I don't want to, anyway.

I'm sorry again;
I'm sorry again.
Not sure just what I did,
But I'm sorry again.
I'm sorry again;
I'm sorry again.
I'll take the blame;
I'm sorry again.
I'm sorry again;
I'm sorry again.
Please don't leave;
I'm sorry again.
I'm sorry again;
I'm sorry again.
I'll do what I can;
I'm sorry again.

I click on your name
To see what you have to say
Wondering what I've done
To hurt you today.
You claim I have expectations,
But this feels like your game.
You set a timer
And say it's my turn to play.

I'm sorry again;
I'm sorry again.
Not sure just what I did,
But I'm sorry again.
I'm sorry again;
I'm sorry again.
I'll take the blame;
I'm sorry again.
I'm sorry again;
I'm sorry again.
Please don't leave;
I'm sorry again.
I'm sorry again;
I'm sorry again.
I'll do what I can;
I'm sorry again.

I'm so tired of fighting
When I thought we were friends.
I'm a little bit shocked
At the things you said.
I wasn't trying to hurt you,
Or to be unfair;
I didn't want you to think
That I didn't care.

I'm sorry again;
I'm sorry again.
Not sure just what I did,
But I'm sorry again.
I'm sorry again;
I'm sorry again.
I'll take the blame;
I'm sorry again.
I'm sorry again;
I'm sorry again.
Please don't leave;
I'm sorry again.
I'm sorry again;
I'm sorry again.
I'll do what I can;
I'm sorry again.

Writing

Every line is just an echo;
Years of writing, 
And nothing to show.
Lines of tears
Running down my cheeks;
Years of life
That don't mean anything.
I forget I have friends;
I forget that they care.
Any time we're not talking
I forget that they're there.
I feel like I'm living
My life on repeat;
Hundreds of lines
Just saying the same thing.
I hope it helps someone;
I hope it helps you.
I just keep on writing;
I don't know what else to do.

Tonight

Tonight
Is remarkable.
I am content to be alive.
I believe tomorrow will be good.
Tonight
Is beautiful;
I'm even smiling.
Tonight
All I can think about is
How lucky I am
To know you,
And when I can see you again.
Tonight
Is so strange
In the best way.
Do you have any idea
How rare this is?
I know it won't last forever,
So I hold onto it tightly,
Like the string of a balloon,
Like a rope pulling me up from a cliff.
It's late, but I'm writing this
So that I don't forget
Tonight.