I'm Not There

I swing so I can reach higher, higher,

And I sing 'cause the sky is bluer there.

I let my hair down 'cause I'm free and wild,

Yeah, inside I'm still a child,

But there's no taming me.

Oh, an' I'm a beautiful rose but I've got thorns,

And I'm gonna hurt you ,

Yeah, you can believe the things they say when I'm not there,

Hey, I'm not there,

Hey I'm not there,

Yeah, 'Cause I'm not there for you.

< This is a stupid song, but what the hey. I made it up yesterday when we were at the park and decided to write it down when I got home. I'm not sure why... >

I Suppose That's Why They Call It Fall

Everything's falling, falling, falling,

The sun, the leaves, and the spirits of all.

Everything's falling, falling, falling,

I suppose that's why they call it Fall.

Things'll start falling, falling anew,

The snow and rain and spirits of all,

Things'll start falling, falling anew,

I suppose that's why they call it Fall.

< I thought I wrote more for this song, but I guess not. At least, I can't remember what else I would have written... >

If I Died Tomorrow

REFRAIN:

If I died tomorrow I want to dance today,

I want to let my hair get in my way,

I want to talk and sing and laugh and cry,

I want to do all these things,

If tomorrow I die.

They say we should live everyday as if it were our last,

Well, there really isn't anything I can do about the past,

But if I started now I'd do things differently,

I wouldn't care about the people there when I cry and sing.

If tomorrow were my last day I would read up every book,

I would tell my friends I love them and ignore that funny look,

I would hug them and kiss them and not tell them so they don't cry,

Those are the things I'd want to do if I knew I was going to die.

REFRAIN

< I didn't realize this much of my song actually got saved! This isn't everything I wrote, but hey, at least it's part of it, so I'll share it. Man, if the whole thing would have been saved, this would have been awesome! >

Keepin' This Corner Company

I know you're feeling worried,

But I promise it's okay,

You think I'm missing all the fun,

But I don't want to play.

And I'm not feeling lonely,

Yeah, I've got a friend with me

I'm just keeping this corner company.

Yeah, you maybe don't understand how this can be any fun,

But I don't really feel like talking to anyone,

I'll just watch you dancing and hum to my hearts content,

'Cause everyone wants to be alone every now and then.

I know you're feeling worried,

But I promise I'm okay,

You think I'm missing all the fun,

But I don't want to play,

And I'm not feeling lonely,

Yeah, I've got a friend with me,

I'm just keeping this corner company.

Yeah, the corner doesn't mind listening to the stupid things I say,

Sometimes it's the only one keeping me from running away,

And the corner never tells me things I'd rather never know,

We became the best of friends long, long, long ago.

I know you're feeling worried,

But I promise it's okay,

You think I'm missing all the fun,

But I don't want to play,

And I'm not feeling lonely,

Yeah, I've got a friend with me,

I'm just keeping this corner company.

All the things that you said when you thought I wasn't there,

I just tell them to my corner, 'cause no one else would care,

That way when I'm with you I can keep a cheerful face,

But for the moment I really just need some space.

I know you're feeling worried,

But I promise it's okay,

You think I'm missing all the fun,

But I don't want to play,

And I'm not feeling lonely,

Yeah, I've got a friend with me,

I'm just keeping this corner company,

Yeah, I'm just keeping this corner company,

You don't have to worry 'bout me,

This corner's just a'keeping me company.

<This is not a spoof. I guess most of my things aren't really. Sorry my songs are few and far between. I'd post more, but most of the songs I write aren't very good. this one probably could use some editing. I almost posted a pretty good one the other day but the internet farted and I can't remember any of it. :P :)>

Eyes Do

REFRAIN:

Maybe I do,

Maybe I don't,

I could tell you,

But maybe I won't,

See, mouths don't always say what's true,

But Eyes Do.

I'm just sitting here pretending that everything's okay,

I don't really mind be lonely for one more day,

If you asked me than I'd tell you that I'm feeling fine,

But I'd appreciate your asking, even just to pass the time.

REFRAIN

If you'd ask me if I'd dance with you I'd say I wouldn't dare,

Still, I'd appreciate your asking, so I'd know someone still cares,

It gives me such a headache to see the people stare,

It makes me want to close my eyes and hide behind my hair.

REFRAIN

I'd sure like someone to talk to,
I wouldn't mind if it was you.
If not, I'll jsut be happy,
Talkin' to no one but me.
REFRAIN

I'd tell myself it isn't long before we say goodbye,
And I would tell myself that I'm not going to cry,
But insid I am still fighting to make myself stand tall,
Instead of always backing up against a wall.
REFRAIN

You know when I get home I will go into my room,

And have myself a lovely dance with the kind old broom,

That is the very first time I'll be happy all nigh long,

Singing to my heart's content an Eeyore kind of song.

REFRAIN

So don't serve me any wedding cake with flowers on the top,

Just turn on some waltzing music and bring out my friend the mops,

Don't try to make me wear a dress and lot's of pretty things,

I'll be content to trounce around in slippers and blue jeans.

REFRAIN

All The Way From Nowhere

Hey, here I am awishing you a lovely day,

Though if you try to talk to me I might have to run away,

You don't know the things playing in my head,

You can say it's just a memory but memories aren't dead,

Hello,

All the way from Nowhere,

I'm just here to tell you,

I really do care,

Hello,

You may not know right now,

But I will miss you when I leave.

Please leave,

Just leave me be....

Hey, I just thought you'd like to know,

It's time for the show,

When it's over I am gone.

By the way,

Sorry I can't stay,

But it's better for us all.

Hello,

All the way from Nowhere,

I'm just here to tell you,

I really do care,

Hello,

You may not know right now,

But I'll miss you when I leave,

Please leave,

Just leave me be...

I'm sorry for the things I did,

The things I said,

The things you don't remember or don't care,

You can tell me it's okay,

It's okay,

But to me it's all still there.

If I'm here,

And you are here,

It'll all happen again,

I'm so sorry my friend,

Hello,

All the way from Nowhere,

I'm just here to tell you,

I really do care,

Hello,

You may not know right now,

But I'll miss you when I leave.

Please leave,

Just leave me be...

Please leave me be...

This isn't about me...

Just go away, 

So we can say, 

We are still friends.

Hello,

Hello,

Hello,

Please leave....

Spoof-Free-A-Thon Finale: Ode To The Starfish

Oh, dear sea star in the deep,

How is it that you never sleep?

Five busy arms account for you,

And tend to all the things you do,

But if you should lose one all unknowing,

There will be another growing!

And so you are the fishers' spite,

Though they bless the stars of night,

What does make them curse you so,

As on your way you nimbly go?

And oft you're found in little stores,

Quite as oft as on sea floors!

But when for fancy you sit to dry,

Then, poor sea star, you must die.

The hapless deserve their own ode, too,

And so, my sea star: Here's to you.

Spoof-Free-A-Thon 11: Blame It On the Coffee

I got up at four o' one,

Told you mowing sounded fun,

And then I spilled the O-J.

Blame it on the coffee!

I went gambling: starting ten,

Didn't get home 'till one a.m,

Forgot to go buy milk again.

Blame it on the coffee!

I popped in some Winnie The Pooh,

Dora, Spongebob, Scooby-Doo,

Had to clean up doggy poo.

Blame it on the coffee!

I tried to scramble my first egg,

Messed it up and had to beg,

Second thought: order chicken legs.

Blame it on the coffee!

Finally I did somethin' right:

Tucked in the kids, kissed you goodnight,

Turned off the front porch light.

You can blame that on me.

Spoof-Free-A-Thon 10: I See It In Your Eyes

There was a friend I once knew,

The kindest person you ever knew,

But somehow I wondered if it was true,

When she told me how she felt.

She'd smile with a tear in her eye,

She'd be crying and tell me she was just fine,

It didn't take long to find out it was heartbreak.

REFRAIN:

I see it in your eyes,

I hear it in your voice,

You won't tell me a thing,

So I'll give you a choice:

What do you want from me?

I'd give you anything,

But all I have to give is my heart,

You can have it-free of cost,

You can rip it apart,

But if you notice, You don't care,

Hello, head, what's going on in there?

If I knew the fella' I'd sock him one,

I know for a fact: Heartbreak ain't fun,

But it'd kill her to know I did; poor hon,

So I don't know what I'm to do.

I talk to her and she doesn't hear,

I wonder what she's thinking up there,

One day she'll just disappear- I'm scared.

REFRAIN

She won't change her story: "I'm okay!"

But I think she'll commit suicide someday,

That guy is with some city girl who isn't worth a thing.

I told her he's not worth her anyway,

She only asks me to go away,

But I know she really needs someone to stay,

I hope that lady leaves him.

REFRAIN

She told him that she didn't care,

But when it comes to hearts you don't get a spare,

I'm tellin' you it isn't fair,

And all the folks blame her.

If I get put in the slammer some day,

It'll be for not letting him walk away,

'Cause as soon as I can I'm gonna beat him.

REFRAIN

<In my opinion: The only part of this song that is really any good is the refrain, and I only wrote it last night! The refrain doesn't exactly fit with the rest of the song, either, does it?>

Spoof-Free-A-Thon 9: This Is a Song About A Girl

This is a song about a girl named <pause>-

Nancy is as good a name as any other-

And her beau, a young man named <pause>-

Well, I like the name Sam.

This is a song about young lovers,

Though they didn't know it when the song began.

Now Nancy's mother was a poor seamstress,

And Nancy was a poor seamstress,

Or else they had some other lowly career.

And Sam's father was a well-known scribe,

And Sam a young scholar to be a scribe,

Or else another way rich, for his papa has a long, long beard.

Now everyone knows a poor young gal,

Can't well marry her rich young pal,

So they snuck away one late night,

To marry each other in secret.

But here's the part of the song to scare you some,

They were never-never again seen.

Spoof-Free-A-Thon 8: Christmas Day

It's Christmas Day!

It's Christmas Day!

The bells do chime,

And the harps will play.

Oh, it's Christmas Day!

It's Christmas Day!

The angels sing,

And babes play all day.

Oh, Christmas Day!

Oh, Magic Day!

The land is all white,

And the faithful pray.

Oh, Lovely Day,

Oh Faithful Day!

Stockings are hung,

And the dust flies away.

Oh, Mary Day!

Oh, Joseph Day!

The LORD is born,

To the blessed today!

Oh, Joyous Day!

Oh, Musical Day!

The church is full,

And nativity laid!

Spoof-Free-A-Thon 7: Spookin' House

There's a spookin' house they say,

Where the wild flowers grow,

That once was very yellow.

I've always wanted to see it,

The sad and lonely thing,

But always it does vanish when the bells do start to ring.

I know for oft I've searched for it,

In gardens overgrown,

But still unto me itself has never shown.

"I'll find you yet!"

I once did cry in despair,

Nor have I yet, though I search in every meadow fair.

Now I must go and look some more,

Before the bells do chime,

For when they do- it's spookin' time.

Spoof-Free-A-Thon 6: All ALong the Berry Path

All along the berry path,

Where the weedies grow,

There's still signs of berry bushes,

Where children planted them long ago.

If you travel further there,

But not too far away,

You'll see the little decaying house,

Where those children used to play.

It used to be a pretty house,

With flowers all about,

Bunny hutches and a pond,

A tree with a house along a certain route.

The little house is empty now,

Except for squirrels and a coon,

But I think I heard them people say,

You can hearing a bawling just before noon.

They shakes them heads at that mournful sound,

Acoming from the nursery room,

Where the little babe child died-

On the berry path you'lla find his tomb.

They say the whole house of them fled right after,

Afearing for their life,

They left their every earthly thing,

Though we don't know for what danger or strife.

But if you'll venture inside there,

Best leave you very quick,

'Cause they say the death of those who stay about,

In that house is still very thick.

Spoof-Free-A-Thon 5: If You Are The Bridegroom

< This is only the refrain,

The rest of the song is totally lame. :)>

So, give me a kiss for every time,

A star made my dreams come true,

And give me a hand for every time,

I saw and knew I loved you,

And wrap your arms around me,

For every time I'm scared,

And then I'll know you love me,

And never be unprepared.

For if you are a the bridegroom,

And I am a virgin girl,

I don't want to be one of the five,

Who didn't bring oil,

And got locked out of the house that night.

Spoof-Free-A-Thon 4: I'm All Alone By The Light of The Moon

I'm all alone by the light of the moon,

And I'm happy for it to be that way,

I know that you'll be coming her soon,

But I don't have plans to stay,

'Cause I'm not happy here anymore.

I'm gonna fly right out the door,

I've grown my wings; it's time to soar,

I'm goin' away,

Have a lovely stay,

'Cause I'm not happy here anymore.

Someday we're gonna die,

Don'tcha know?

It's as good a time as any to say "goodbye,

I gotta go,"

'Cause I'm not happy here anymore.

If you call I won't answer the phone,

I don't wanna hear from you,

Right now I just need to be alone,

And there's nothing you can do.

Knock as loud as you want,

I'm not comin' to the door,

And I'm not happy here anymore.

Just keep your distance, won't ya' boy?

Your staying here gives me no joy.

I won't stay, I won't play, go away,

'Cause I'm not happy here anymore,

No, I'm not happy here,

This place brings me no cheer,

And I'm not happy here anymore.

Spoof-Free-A-Thon 3: This Used To Be A Love Song Refrain.

< This is only the refrain:

The rest of the song is totally lame. :)>

Roses and bows and birds of blue,

A little bit of me and a little bit of you,

The rings and wedding bells and a final I Do.

Babies in the summer turn to big kids in the fall,

WE learn nothing lasts for ever, no, nothing at all.

Oh, this used to be a love son!

Yes, it used to be a love song,

Oh, this used to be a love song!

But nothing lasts for ever, no, nothing at all.

Spoof-Free-A-Thon 2: Just An American Dreamer

Yeah...

Yeah...

Yeah....

Come on, count it with me! 1,2,3,4!

American Dreamer!

Don'tcha go thinkin' you're alone!

We know you're an A-A-A-

American Dreamer!

WHOA, Whoa, whoa, Whoooooaaaaa.

You might think you're just an A-A-A

American Dreamer!

But don'tcha ever give up hope!

Your dreams'll come true, someday,

American Dreamer!

WHOA,Whoa, whoa, Whoooooaaaa.

American Dreamer,

Your friends are calling to you!

Come, join us, A-A-A-

Amercan Dreamer!

WHOA,Whoa, whoa, whoooooaaaa.

You may think you're just imagining the voices that you hear,

A-A-A-American Dreamer!

But you're not,my friend, you're not-

You're just dreaming.

American Dreamer.

WHOA, Whoa, whoa, WHOA, Whoa whoa, WHOA, Whoa, whoa, WHOOOOAaaaaaa.

Spoof-Free-A-Thon 1: Ya' Gotta Dream

Have ya' gotta dream?

<Have ya' gotta dream?>

No one's gonna make it,

<No one's gonna make it>

If they don't got their own dream.

REFRAIN:

Ya' gotta dream!

<Ya' gotta dream!>

Everybody out there!

<Everybody out there!>

When time's are tough,

Ya' Gotta Dream.

Don'tcha lose ya' dream!

<Don'tcha lose ya' dream!>

If you don't gotcha dream,then

<If you don't gotcha dream, then>

How are you gonna make past life's dead end?

REFRAIN

Ya' maybe think!

<Ya' maybe think!>

Thatcha don't know,

<Thatcah don't know>

What you want or need.

REFRAIN

But everybody's got,

<Everybody's got>

Their very own dream,

<Their very own dream>

You'll find yours someday, if you just day dream.

REFRAIN 

<fade>

I've Outgrown My Pants For The Last Time

" You eat too much,"
She said at lunch,
" I'm tired of mending an' buying you pants,
I'm tellin' you Herb, this is your last chance:
You better've outgrown your pants,
For the last time."

I said, "Alrighty, dear,
I'm hearing you loud an' clear,
No need for debat,
I'll lose some weight,
And I've outgrown my pants,
For the last time.
When they say,
' Sir, what'll it be?'
I'll say 'salad and a tea,'
You'll see less of me,
No more chubby-knee,
Smaller lips,
Thinner hips,
'Cause I've outgrown my pants,
For the last time."

Betty-Joe smiled at me,
She was happier than I'd ever seen,
Said, " Herb, I know that you can do it,
You bit this challenge off and you can chew it,
We'll buy a weight machine,
We'll start dieting,
So we've outgrown our pants,
For he last time."

Well, now I'm almost always feeling hungry,
But gosh, my Betty-Joe sure does love me,
I'm lovin' this romance,
She sings and we both dance,
Man, I guess I've outgrown my pants,
For the last time.

<This one isn't a spoof, either. It's old from my other blog, but I'm bringing it back to life here. :)>

I'm a Funky Girl

I'm such a funky girl,
In such a serious world,
You can tell me what to do,
It's all cool,
I'll just do my own thing ,
You can dance but I will sing,
You can smell the roses,
But I'll take my pretty pansies,

REFRAIN:
So sing with me now:
I'm a funky girl in such a serious world,
So far it isn't working but I'll give it a whirl,
All the diamonds in the world couldn't tame me,
All the people in the world couldn't change me,
I just want o live one day free,
Free of people who don't want me to be me,
But if it can't be that way,
I guess it can't be that way,
And I'll stay and try again, again another day.

I sat down awhile and you pulled me to my feet,
I wanted to rest,
I was feeling beat,
You told me I could do it so I gave it a try,
Now I'm not a foot taller,
But I reach for the sky,
REFRAIN

There's a letter on my dresser about ten days old,
I never opened it but the stories been told,
It's the saddest little thing that you ever heard,
But I won't let it bother me,
Never fear,
'Cause I'm a funky girl.
REFRAIN

I sit on the porch and I let it swing,
My mouth looks silent but in my heart I sing,
I had my doubts,
But I can do anything,
I can mess up now and I won't care,
I'll have fun while I do it: Yeah, fair is fair.
REFRAIN
<This one isn't a spoof, but it's fun. More might follow. :)>

Just Read It

Read it, Just read it

Open up your eyes and see it,

It doesn't matter if it's English or French,

I know you can read it,

So pull up a bench,

And read it, Just read it.

Open up your mouth and speak it,

It doesn't matter if it's fine or large print,

You've got the writing,

So you won't get a hint,

Just read it, Just read it.

If you wanna pass the grade you need it!

If we have to we can use force,

But you're gonna have to read the whole course,

So read it, Just read it.

< Spoof on Just Eat It by Wierd Al and Just Beat It by some other guy :)>

I Could Have Slept All Day

 I could have slept all day,
I could have slept all day,
And still have snoozed some more,
I could have dreamed some dreams,
About a thousand things,
I've never done before,
I'll never know,
What made me feel so sleepy,
Why my eyes began to close,
I only know that I,
Could use some more shut-eye,
I could have slept, slept, slept all day.

< A Spoof On I Could Have Danced All Night, From My Fair Lady>