Let Me

Let me love you when you can't;
Let me hold your shaking hand.
Let me listen to your heart,
And remind you who you are.
Let me string your broken lights;
Let me stay by your side.
Let me hear you say goodnight;
Let me know you're still alive.
I won't tell you it's okay;
Just let me pick you a bouquet.
You don't have to fake a smile;
Just let me be your friend awhile.
If you want, I'll go away,
But I'll still love you anyway.
If you can't stand me anymore,
I'll try to love you all the more.
And if you come to realize
You need a friend, just know you're mine.

For You...

Let me sing you songs
To calm your aching heart,
And hold you so tight
That you can't fall apart.
Let me only listen
Til you've nothing else to say,
Then listen to your silence,
And to your wordless pain.
It has taken time
To learn to trust each other,
But by now you should know
I trust you more than any other.
Not every sky is the perfect shade of blue,
But when your clouds are gray,
Remember that I love you.
You don't have to let go;
Some pain is worth holding on to,
But when it gets too heavy,
I'll hold on with you.
You'll always be beautiful,
Even when you're crying;
Darling, please keep living
When you feel like dying.
Even though you're sometimes
Very far away,
Remember that you're here
In my thoughts every day.

Let's Not Bother

 I know that we're just friends,
But I wish that we weren't.
Nothing ever changes,
And it's getting on my nerves.
I don't know what to say,
And I guess neither do you;
We never even started,
And we're already through.
I wish that you'd say something,
Then you say words that hurt,
And between the two,
I don't know which is worse.
I'm tired of living
If I'm living all alone,
But when I try to broach the subject
You always tell me not to go.
Do you know that you're confusing?
I'm just giving up.
Let's not bother being friends;
Let's not bother with love.

Another Stupid Goodbye Song

All you do is give, 
And all I do is take.
Maybe you don't mind,
But I don't think it's okay.
I wanted a friend;
I didn't want a slave,
But we can't be friends
If I don't contribute anything.
I have to go away;
Don't expect a word.
What can I say?
Please just let me love you
In my own way.
Don't try to tell me
This isn't what you want.
How would you have a clue
Until you know I'm gone?
I've thought about it
More and more each day,
And I see no other choice;
How else can I behave?
I don't believe in love;
I don't believe a thing.
I thought you'd change my mind,
But nothing is changing.

If You Were His Friend...

You tell yourself you're okay;
You know that's a lie.
You hear his name,
And you start to cry.
He's not here;
He's just on your mind.
You just left,
And he'll never know why.
You hate yourself,
And I know why;
If you were his friend,
You'd at least say goodbye.
Should you apologize?
Don't even try.
You'll just make things worse;
You'll just waste his time.

Are You There?

Are you there?
Do you care?
I've had a bit
Of a scare.
You say to try
Not to cry
When I only want to die;
I've done
Nothing but try,
And you think
I'm just lazy,
But I've used up
All my strength
Just to try.
I know you're confused
And frustrated
And I hate
Putting you through this
So I think
That it's time
To say goodbye.

Mistake

Head is heavy;
Eyelids weak.
All signs say
It's time to sleep.
So why lie here,
Wide awake,
With that one word:
"Mistake, mistake"?

Convince Me That I'm Dreaming

Tell me things that I don't know;

Take me places that I never go.

Tell me things that I can't believe in;

Try your best to convince me that I'm dreaming.

Maybe it won't be so hard when you leave;

Maybe I won't fall apart when you're not with me.

I still need to make it on my own;

I know this won't last,

I just don't know when you'll go,

Or where you'll go.

Where will you go

When I'm awake again?

Where do dreams go

When we're not sleeping?

God, will I ever be able to believe him?

Does he love me, or am I just dreaming?

Where do dreams go

If I'm not sleeping?

While I'm Okay...

I thought I'd never get over it,
But you better believe I did,
And as long as I'm feeling okay,
Might as well feel better than I've ever been.
True, it won't last;
I guess these things never do.
But before I lose myself again,
Let me tell you I love you.

Who Will Catch Me If I Fall?

I'm sorry that I'm crazy,
And I don't know how to behave;
I feel like everything that I say
Is just a big mistake.
Could you pull me closer,
And tell me it's not over?
Do you really love me,
Or should I just go away?
There are countless stars in the sky;
I wish I could shine so brightly in your eyes.
But I'm one in millions,
And maybe you don't notice me at all.
I keep on tripping;
I'm always slipping.
Who will catch me if I fall?

Tell Me What I've Got To Do

I know I'm no fairy tale princess,

But I'd try my best for you.

We may have widely different interests,

But my big interest is you.

If there's any chance we could work it out,

Baby, just tell me what I've got to do.

I'm losing sleep, but I don't mind,

As long as I don't lose you.

I'm not sure I'm not someone that I hate;

Could you help me be more like you?

I'd do anything if we could work this out;

I'm just waiting for the word from you.

I'm losing my mind, but I don't care;

Just tell me that I've got you.

Come on, darling; we can work this out;

Just tell me what I've got to do.

I know I'm no fairy tale princess;

I know life is no dream come true.

I know I'm no Doctor's Companion,

But I could use a Rory like you.

I'm not looking for someone to take for granted;

I'm looking for a chance to be true.

I want to hold your hand, and never let you go;

Just tell me what I've got to do.

What do you want me to do?

I'm Waiting (For You)

Your mom teases you;
My mom teases me.
But will we ever really be
More than my friend;
More than yours?
If so, what are we waiting for?
Three small words you'll never say
Could all but take my breath away.
They're all that I could want to hear,
But you can't see me waiting here.
I'm waiting; I'm waiting.
I talk to you;
You talk to me.
But are you ever going to see
That I like you;
Do you like me?
Or is this all we'll ever be?
Three small words are all it takes,
But I don't hear them; my heart breaks.
Oh, how I wish that you were here!
But you can't see me waiting, dear...
I'm waiting; I'm waiting.
If you ever come around,
You know where I can be found.
And if you ever look for me,
I promise that I'll always be
Waiting; I'm waiting for you.

If You Love Somebody... Let Them Know

You can show me things that can't be seen,
But don't tell me things that you don't mean.
You'll find love, if not with me,
And be happy, like I hope you'll be.
Stay my friend, if nothing more;
I know that you're worth fighting for.
And if I die all alone,
I'm still glad you're someone that I know.
But don't you miss me when I go;
If you love somebody, let them know.

Sleep

You told me I should get some sleep;
I swore today I would be fine.
I think I know what you need;
Things will get better when I die.
Tell me why I should keep going;
Nothing ever seems to change.
Just forget you ever knew me;
Forget you ever knew my name.
There's no point in being sorry;
I can never set things right.
You said sleep would make things better;
All I can say is yeah, good night.

The Joke

I don't know what's wrong;
I'm not thinking clearly.
I feel like I'm the joke
Everyone gets but me.
Could someone explain it?
Could you change my fate?
Never mind; don't bother.
I guess it's just too late.
I just want to say I'm sorry.
Will you hear me out?
This may be my last song.
What is it about?
I don't want to be a joke;
I don't want to feel such sorrow.
But will anything be different
If I wake up tomorrow?
Will I ever feel safe again?
I honestly don't know.
Maybe I'll only stop hurting
When I let my spirit go.

The Beginning

Every five seconds I change my mind;
It's fifteen years I haven't felt alright.
I'm so sick of feeling sick in the head;
Tick tock tick, I think it's time I was dead.
Where have you been?
I've been waiting.
I needed you
In my self hating.
Every second I get closer
To saying that it's finally over.
I don't understand, I don't, I don't;
They tell me I'll go to Heaven,
But I'm afraid I won't.
I apologize for the things I said
But then I go and say them again.
Maybe you forgive me, but I can't,
Because I'm so afraid that's all that I am.
If I say something you can't forgive,
Who will love me in the end?
Sounds like a good reason not to live,
And I'm right back at the beginning again.

I Might Not Have The Answers

I just don't know anymore;
I feel so strongly about everything,
But what if everything I believe is wrong?
I can feel myself disappearing,
But the thing that worries me
Is I might not have the answers before I'm gone.
I'm trying to heal the world;
I'm trying to bring some light,
But I feel so hurt and broken,
And trapped in endless night.
Is there any point?
Who is going to care?
Would the world have been more beautiful
If I was never there?
I just don't know anymore;
I feel so strongly about everything,
But what if everything I believe is wrong?
I can feel myself disappearing,
But the thing that worries me
Is I might not have the answers before I'm gone.

Someone You Could Love

I wish I was more like you;
Maybe I'd move on and forget you too.
I say I give up, but that's not true;
I guess I depend too much on you.
I know I should just go away,
But when you do show up I wish you'd stay.
I know I'll never be enough,
But I wish I was someone you could love.

Is It Okay If I Love You?

My mind keeps going back to you;

My eyes keep going to my phone.

I know that you're busy,

But I'm feeling so alone.

We've been talking less and less;

I haven't gotten any rest.

Is it okay if I love you?

I only wish I knew.

But I keep hoping that I'll hear

Those words coming from you.

Maybe we're only friends;

I'm trying to be content.

It's only been a year,

But oh, what that year has meant!

I said some things I didn't mean,

Because I can't say what I want to.

I told you that I'm sorry,

But you still don't know I love you.

I'll try to get some sleep tonight,

With no tears on my pillow,

But I know I'll lie awake again

Wondering if I'll ever know.

Have you even thought about it?

Has it ever crossed your mind?

If it hasn't, you should know

That you're always on mine.

Do I have to be the one

That says something first?

Is it okay if I love you?

Please just say the words.

Is it okay if I love you?

Please just say the words...?

I Don't Know

I still think about you,
Even though we don't talk anymore.
I thought that this was for the best, but
I don't know why anymore.
And you can be okay with that, but
I won't be okay until I know the reason why.
And I thought that I was fine,
But I haven't been fine since we said goodbye.
Oh, I liked it better when you told me not to leave,
But now I don't know if I left or if you left me.

Strangers

If you saw me sitting lonely
Would you come around;
Take the swing next to mine
And start to laugh out loud
At all the things that we're not saying,
And all the stupid reasons to just stay strangers?
It would make a good story,
If you'd only try.
Because this small world
Feels so big sometimes;
We always look away
When we meet a stranger's eyes.
And I know it's not always safe out there
But every now and then
I find that I don't really care.
So meet me someplace
Where there's no such thing as strangers.
If you saw me lying in the grass
And we met eyes
Would you walk over,
Or just walk by?
You could ask me to dance;
I'll probably say no,
But I think I'd like that,
If you'd just give it a go.
Because this small world
Feels so big sometimes.
Why do we always look away
When we meet a stranger's eyes?
I know it's not really safe out there,
But every now and then
I find that I don't really care.
Will you meet me someplace
Where you can fall in love with strangers?
Could you take me someplace
Where we're anything but strangers?

I Should Go

I don't know;
Maybe I'm wrong.
But I think you'll feel better
After I'm gone.
I should go.
Why do I stay?
I can't help coming back
When I should go away.
Is that alright?
I hope you don't mind.
I'm just so afraid
To get left behind.
Your soul's beautiful;
I hope that you know.
I'm going to miss it.
But I should go.

It's A Cruel, Cruel World

It's a cruel, cruel world,
And getting crueler every minute,
And with every passing second
I wish more I wasn't in it.
It's a sad, sad place,
And it's only getting sadder;
If I died right now,
I couldn't get much gladder.
I've got a sick, sick mind
That keeps me up at night,
And if you think that I'll be fine,
Then you're not too bright.
It's a sorry situation,
And we're all just getting fatter,
As we sit here on our bums
Thinking nothing really matters.
I've got a cold, cold heart
That's afraid to love.
I can't say anymore;
I'm simply giving up.

Letters

There's a box of letters behind my bed;

A box of letters you've never read.

Letters that I wrote to think things through.

Yellowed pages I never sent;

Faded words I really meant.

Words that aren't the things you heard me say.

Maybe you will see them someday,

Or maybe I'll throw them away.

Would they make you angry,

Or would you understand?

They were all well intended;

I wrote them knowing I'd never send them,

And you may never know how I felt.

There's a box of letters behind my bed;

Letters that you haven't read.

I wonder if you'll ever know how I feel.

I wonder, oh I wonder, how you feel.

It's Not Tomorrow Just Yet

The world is falling down around us;
Can't help but hope it's ending soon.
Tomorrow could be better,
But I don't believe it's going to.
I've wasted my whole life
Wondering if I could ever be loved,
But when I finally found you,
I found I didn't love you enough.
So why should you tell me not to cry
When crying's all that I have left?
And you can say tomorrow will be better,
But it's not tomorrow just yet;
I know tomorrow might be better,
But it's not tomorrow quite yet.
I keep, keep listening;
I thought the world would be quiet by now.
I try to hear your voice,
But the only thing I hear is sound.
Don't touch my face;
Don't try to dry my tears away.
Don't say it's alright;
No, there's not a thing that you can say.
And why should you tell me not to cry
When crying's all that I have left?
I've lost everything else,
But I'm not giving this up yet.
I know tomorrow might be better,
But it's not tomorrow quite yet.
I can't fix this on my own;
Can't, can't fix it on my own,
No, no.
I wanna go,
But there's no, no place left to go.
I wanna fix this,
But I can't fix this on my own;
Can't, can't fix it,
No I can't fix it all on my own.
Stay right beside me,
Even if I tell you to go.
I'll beg you to leave,
But I can't, can't be left alone.
So why should you tell me not to cry
When crying's all that I have left?
And you can say tomorrow will be better,
But it's not tomorrow just yet;
I know tomorrow might be better,
But it's not tomorrow quite yet.
The world's breaking into pieces;
Can't help hoping that it's ending soon.
Wondered all my life if you loved me,
Without ever really loving you.
The world's crashing all around me;
Can't help but hope that it's ending soon.
Tomorrow could be better,
But I don't believe it's going to.
I've wasted my life,
Hoping to find someone to love,
But when I found you,
I found I couldn't love you enough.
So why should you tell me not to cry
When crying's all that I have left?
And you can say tomorrow will be better,
But it's not tomorrow just yet;
I know tomorrow might be better,
But it's not tomorrow quite yet.
Why should you tell me not to cry
When crying's all that I have left?
And you can say tomorrow will be better,
But it's not tomorrow just yet.
I know tomorrow could be better;
Will it ever be tomorrow?
Tomorrow could be better,
But it's never been tomorrow yet.

Compass

If you're running from yourself
You're never gonna get too far.
No, I've been trying that forever
And I've only lost heart so far.
So I'm looking for home,
But I can't remember where home is.
And I wasn't alone
When I learned what loneliness is.
So could you be my compass?
You don't have to stay long;
Just until I find my way again.
Could you be my compass?
If you say you'll never leave
Then I'll never ever leave again.
If you tell her that you'll catch her,
Then you'd better catch her when she falls.
I used to mean so many things;
Now I don't mean a thing at all.
I've been looking for you;
Now I wonder if you ought to go.
And I'll try to make you leave,
But I never want to be alone.
So could you be my compass?
You don't have to stay,
But I gotta say I wish you would.
Could you be my compass?
If you tell me that you can't,
Then I don't think that anyone could.
I'm looking for home,
But I don't know what home is.
And I couldn't be alone
To really learn what loneliness is,
But I don't feel that way with you.
So could you be my compass?
You don't have to stay long;
Just until I find my way again.
I believe that you are honest;
If you say you'll never leave,
Then I'll never ever leave again.
Could you be my compass?
If you say you'll never leave,
Then I'll never ever leave again.
No, don't tell me that you'll leave;
I'm never gonna leave again.

Today

I'm not talking to anyone,
It isn't only you.
And if I were to talk,
I'd only say things that aren't true.
I won't admit I'm not okay,
Or that you'd care if I'm not.
I thought I had things figured out,
But I'm worse now than I thought.
I saw a face today
That I didn't want to see;
It reminded me I'm someone
That I don't want to be.

Who I'll Never Be

You think that I'm better

Than I'm ever going to be,

And when you're looking at me

I'm not really what you see.

You say things that I'm not sure

I believe you can believe,

And even if you do,

There's no way I can agree.

I'm boring and frustrating,

And I'm always in the way,

And when you want to talk

Is when I have nothing to say.

I don't mind being with friends;

I mind my friends being with me.

The person that you think I am

Is only who I wish that I could be.

Great Grandma

Did you say all that you meant to
Before the curtain closed?
Or did you feel so much more
Than we'll ever know?
You were an amazing person;
One of the very best.
You were here for part of my story;
I wish you could hear the rest.
I miss your smile most;
The smile you had for all.
Now I can only see it
In pictures on the wall.

I'm Leaving You This Letter...

I'm sorry that I hurt you;
Please know I never meant to.
I lost myself,
And you're the one who payed the price.
I'd go back if I could,
But wishing does no good,
And I'll do anything
If I can set things right.
You're not safe around me;
It's better if I just leave.
I'm leaving you this letter
Because I can't bear to say goodbye.

I Love You, I Love Them

I don't think you're wrong;
I don't think you're right.
I'm stuck in the middle with my heart pinched tight.
You're not all right,
And your not all wrong;
I want to explain, but the words are gone.
I love them,
And I love you.
I wish you wouldn't hurt each other the way you do.
I love you,
And I love them,
And that's all I can say til the words come back again.

Thinking and Ideas

Shut the doors!
Lock them tight!
Let no new ideas inside!
Plug your ears;
Cover your eyes.
Let your fear make you blind.
Hold yourself back;
You don't mind.
Isn't it easier to just hide?
Try nothing new;
Don't let yourself grow.
Be born and turn old,
Die and decay;
Don't make the world better;
They'll forget your name.
Why should you care?
Oh dear, don't you know?
You're one of us too,
With a body and soul.
Why are you here?
What good is it all,
If you never grow,
And do nothing but fall?
But go on;
Don't mind me.
Just shut your eyes tight.
Don't think and don't dream,
And don't ever write.
Don't help anybody;
Just think of yourself,
And be "completely unique"…
Just like everyone else.
One long winter;
Don't mind the cold.
One endless night,
With no stars aglow.
Wishing in your last moment
That you had done more,
But still not really knowing
What you're doing it for.

Beauty

I'm trying to see the beauty in the world that's all around,
But the way we hurt each other, there's no beauty to be found.
I want to make you smile, but I don't know what to do,
So I wrap myself in blankets and sit and cry for you.
The world has gotten smaller, the older that I've got,
And after learning more, I know that I don't know a lot.
I'm trying to understand, but it's not making any sense,
And everyone around lives like it's of no consequence.
Maybe I'm too concerned about things that don't matter at all;
Maybe I'm mistaking big things for things that are very small.
I want to make it better, but I don't know what to do,
So I hide myself in the dark and I sit and cry for you.

Why I Disappeared

Our talks have been one sided
For much, much too long,
So I don't think that you'll notice
When I'm suddenly just gone.
I know sometimes you're busy;
I guess I've gotten in your way,
But six months become two years,
And I'm out of things to say.
There's no room for me in your world;
It's time I stopped pretending.
But nothing hurts me more
Than a friendship when it's ending.
I finally thought I knew you;
What did I get so close for?
We don't even say enough
To end in goodbye anymore.
Now there's only silence,
And I'm not sure if we're friends,
Or if we've fallen back
To just acquaintances again.
It's not that I'm angry;
You've done nothing wrong.
I'm just not sure why I'm staying
When you're already gone.

Where I'd Begin

What if I never wake up?
And worse, what if I do?
What if you're all I think about
And I never tell you?
What if I hurt myself?
What if I'm hurting you?
If you were me, be honest,
What do you think you'd do?
Sometimes I hate the sunlight.
Sometimes I hate the dark.
Sometimes I can't feel anything
Because I haven't got a heart.
I don't want to be lonely,
But I want to be alone.
I want to get out of here,
But I don't want to go.
Your smile breaks my heart,
And your laughter burns my skin,
And if I had to tell you how I feel,
That's where I'd begin.

I'm Not Afraid Of Goodbyes Anymore

Hello.
Yes, I remember you,
But I think it's best you don't come in.
Why yes,
It's been a long, long time,
But I wouldn't call you my old friend.
Oh yes,
I missed you for awhile;
You could have come back long ago,
But you didn't, and I think it's time
That you know;
I'm not afraid of goodbyes anymore.
I've been better off since you told me yours.
Yes, it hurt awhile;
It was hard to see you leave,
But until now,
You've never cared about me.
And now I realize how fake you were all along,
I think I'm better off with you gone,
Gone, gone, gone.
Oooh...
It was good of you to drop by
After such a long, long, long time.
It too ages just for me to cross your mind,
But you can leave now,
Because it's finally crossed mine,
That I'm better off alone;
It's just taken time to let go,
And if you'd let me I would like to forget
All about you and the times we had.
I'm not crying because it's hard to see you go;
I'm just relieved that I can finally let you know
I'm not afraid of goodbyes anymore,
Because I've been stronger
Since you told me yours.
I guess I can thank you
For showing me,
Sometimes the only way to heal
Is to let somebody leave.
No, I'm not afraid of goodbyes anymore;
And I don't plan on giving back yours.
I finally realized how fake you were all along,
And now I think I'm better of with you gone.
Oooh....
Gone.
Gone, gone, gone, gone.
No, no, no, I'm not afraid
Of goodbyes.

Giving Away

I'm not so bright,

And I'm not so pretty;

I've given up the idea

That anyone could love me.

But I don't want to be alone, 

So you can break me down the middle;

You don't have to love me,

Just stitch me up with your needle.

And is that really all that we want?

To hurt and then apologize;

See our pain in someone else's eyes,

Knowing sorry can't make it go away?

That's not what I was looking for,

But that's all that cupid's giving away.

I'll say I'm okay,

But I'm not alright;

You'll tell me you love me,

But we only ever fight.

I would stand up to you,

But I'm much too little,

And I need you to sew up

This tear you made down my middle.

And is that really all that we want?

To hurt and then apologize;

See our pain in someone else's eyes,

Knowing sorry can't make it go away?

That's not what I was looking for,

But that's all that cupid's giving away.

You tell me lies;

I try to believe you.

I keep on staying,

But I don't know why I do.

I just don't want to be alone,

So I let you break me down the middle,

Then you tell me you love me,

And stitch me up with your needle.

Is that really all you wanted?

To hurt and then apologize;

To see your pain reflected in my eyes,

Knowing it will never go away?

That's not what I was looking for,

But that's all that you're giving away.

Don't wanna say things I can't mean,

But that's all that I know how to say.

That's all that we're giving away;

Giving away.

Leaving Is A Kind Of Love

Leaving is a kind of love
That you don't understand,
And you tell me that it's wrong,
But it's the only kind I have.
I just want to protect you;
You say that's not my right.
I lay awake for hours
Worrying over it at night.
Leaving is a kind of love
That you don't believe in,
But if it isn't real,
Then what is this I'm feeling?
You tell me I don't trust you;
You couldn't be more wrong.
The person I don't trust
Has been me all along.

These Songs

I don't know why I'm writing;

I've nothing new to say,

And I try to make the words beautiful, 

But they don't come out that way.

I read them over and over,

And my friends tell me that they're fine,

But deep inside, I still know

That the words just aren't right.

I haven't written in ages,

And I don't really want to try,

But it's better to put pen to paper

Then to let strangers see me cry.

I don't know what I'm doing;

This feels like a mistake.

You'll get the wrong idea;

But there are worse mistakes to make.

I'm all out of ideas;

Well, ideas that are good,

And maybe I shouldn't share them,

Even if I could.

They're stronger than I thought they were,

These words that I've used,

They're too painful, raw, and real.

To show them all to you.

I want to hide these songs;

I don't want to be them.

I'll keep them in the dark inside,

Where no one else can see them.

Words Aren't Everything

She thinks if she stops smiling

The world stops spinning;

Someone has to keep the mood light.

She loves her job,

Most of the time,

But some days it doesn't feel right.

Tired all day,

But she can't sleep;

She can't seem to shut off her brain.

She sees her friends;

They ask how she's been,

And she doesn't know what to say.
Words used to be so simple;
You just say what you mean.
But she got older and discovered
That words aren't everything.