Monday, June 26, 2017

Lip Sync

She can't lip sync like me;
She's cold to you, and not that pretty.
You will never be happy like we could be,
And everyone says you belong with me.
I'm not as perfect as I'd like to be,
And I might have a messy history,
But I'm trying so hard,
And it's gotten me to where you are;
Don't say that doesn't mean something.
Don't give up without trying;
Don't let her hurt you like she has been,
When all I want to to offer you is lovin'
Lovin'.

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

My Feelings

My feelings are my own.
They are not the world's to gape at,
And they are not yours.
I know...
I was once comfortable
Sharing them with you,
And I shared them openly.
But I am not now,
And I have locked them up.
That is my right,
Because they are mine,
And mine alone.
They are not the world's to gape at,
And they have never been yours.

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Who I Am

Lost somewhere;
It's a deadly cycle,
Trying to change
And thinking I have.
I hoped too much
Then broke down crying.
I don't know who I am.
Don't lie to me;
I know you're lying.
Everything sounds like a lie.
I can feel
My mouth moving;
Is it telling you goodbye?
I want to be alone;
Why am I lonely?
Am I two
People in one?
I need you to stay;
Please don't leave me.
And yet my heart
Is on the run.
You try to tell me
You're not angry.
You say that I
Should get some sleep.
I'll lie down,
But I'm not sleeping;
I keep wondering who
I'm supposed to be.
I hoped too much,
Then broke down crying;
I have done all that I can.
Don't say we're friends;
I know you're lying.
I just don't know
Who I am.

Saturday, June 17, 2017

I Make No Difference

I make no difference in your life.
I make no difference, even in mine.
The sun gets up,
And the sun falls down,
But I stay in the same place.
It's better this way.
Not for me, maybe.
Not for me, definitely.
But for you it is,
And what's best for me doesn't matter.
Because I make no difference.
If I am there, you won't notice.
If I am gone,
You will notice even less.
All it would take
Is the smallest of actions,
And then, no actions at all;
Not even a breath.
And it will make no difference.
Not to the world.
Not even to you.
Especially not to you.
Better to make no difference
Than to do you harm.
Better to do myself harm
Than to make no difference to you.
Maybe tomorrow.
But I always think that, don't I?
Not only this.
Everything waits for tomorrow.
Tomorrow doesn't wait til I'm ready.
Well.
It makes no difference.

Thank You For Trying

The weight feels lighter;
The sun shines much brighter.
My eyes are much dryer again.
I thought it would be harder;
I thought it would last longer,
But you are much kinder than that.
The static has lessened;
The pressure has lifted.
My heart doesn't sound quite so loud.
Thank you for listening;
Thank you for trying.
Thank you for being my friend.

I Have Lost Myself

I look in the mirror,
Trying to find myself.
I have the same blood and bones
That carried me safely through childhood,
But I have lost myself.
I defined myself
By things that ended up changing,
And I have lost myself.
Even my skin
Has died, and been replaced.
I am not the same,
Inside or out.
I have lost myself.
I have lost myself;
Who can find me?

The Old and the New

It's the same old heart,
In a new shade of blue.
It's the same old song
To a different tune.
You say the same goodbye
With a fresh set of tears.
It's the same ending
To a brand new year.
You get a new cut
On a healing wound;
You try to hide it,
But the pain bleeds through.
You miss your friends,
But don't say anything,
Because they don't have time,
And you don't mean a thing.
You try to move on
Like the rest of them do.
They share their stories,
But you're the same old you.
They say they love you,
But it doesn't sound true.
You think you don't care,
Til they look past you.
They're living their futures;
You're stuck in the past.
They ask you your plans,
But you have nothing like that.
You're dying to leave;
You have nowhere to go
Your friends are all strangers
You just used to know.
You start to wonder
"Would anyone miss me?"
And you sum it all up
By saying you're sorry.

Wednesday, June 7, 2017

The Thoughts

I try to clear my head,
But my mind's not listening.
If I tried to sleep,
My thoughts would start hissing.
I take a hot shower
To burn the thoughts off,
But the water never seems
To get hot enough.
My skin starts to peel,
And my head starts to spin,
But the thoughts still find
A way to get in.