No One Knows But Me

Life is gray around the edges, and in all the empty spaces where you used to be; gray, trying to replace the irreplaceable.
And you don't know.
My vision is fuzzy; the world is static, as though the show can't go on without you.
And no one knows.
The music has stopped; all the memories play on repeat and shuffle, because we aren't making any news ones.
And no one knows but me.
My heart beats too loudly. I can hear it over everything else. I can feel it trying to burst from my chest, as though it doesn't belong.
"Shut up, shut up."
But it doesn't shut up. I am too alive.
And you don't know.
I go to bed cold and wide awake. I get up hot and tired.
I shuffle around this place like a ghost in chains, but I feel like I'm somewhere else. Somewhere​ else​, but​ where​? Nowhere​. Is nowhere​ a place? It is. For​ me, it is.
And no one knows.
"I don't need friends."
I don't need friends...
I realize now that I am alone. More alone than I thought I could be. More alone than I thought I would be without you. Now I realize there is no one else, and I didn't see it while you were here. But you did. You did.
And no one else knows.
No one knows but me.