I've Outgrown My Pants For The Last Time

" You eat too much,"
She said at lunch,
" I'm tired of mending an' buying you pants,
I'm tellin' you Herb, this is your last chance:
You better've outgrown your pants,
For the last time."

I said, "Alrighty, dear,
I'm hearing you loud an' clear,
No need for debat,
I'll lose some weight,
And I've outgrown my pants,
For the last time.
When they say,
' Sir, what'll it be?'
I'll say 'salad and a tea,'
You'll see less of me,
No more chubby-knee,
Smaller lips,
Thinner hips,
'Cause I've outgrown my pants,
For the last time."

Betty-Joe smiled at me,
She was happier than I'd ever seen,
Said, " Herb, I know that you can do it,
You bit this challenge off and you can chew it,
We'll buy a weight machine,
We'll start dieting,
So we've outgrown our pants,
For he last time."

Well, now I'm almost always feeling hungry,
But gosh, my Betty-Joe sure does love me,
I'm lovin' this romance,
She sings and we both dance,
Man, I guess I've outgrown my pants,
For the last time.

<This one isn't a spoof, either. It's old from my other blog, but I'm bringing it back to life here. :)>