Thinking and Ideas

Shut the doors!
Lock them tight!
Let no new ideas inside!
Plug your ears;
Cover your eyes.
Let your fear make you blind.
Hold yourself back;
You don't mind.
Isn't it easier to just hide?
Try nothing new;
Don't let yourself grow.
Be born and turn old,
Die and decay;
Don't make the world better;
They'll forget your name.
Why should you care?
Oh dear, don't you know?
You're one of us too,
With a body and soul.
Why are you here?
What good is it all,
If you never grow,
And do nothing but fall?
But go on;
Don't mind me.
Just shut your eyes tight.
Don't think and don't dream,
And don't ever write.
Don't help anybody;
Just think of yourself,
And be "completely unique"…
Just like everyone else.
One long winter;
Don't mind the cold.
One endless night,
With no stars aglow.
Wishing in your last moment
That you had done more,
But still not really knowing
What you're doing it for.

Beauty

I'm trying to see the beauty in the world that's all around,
But the way we hurt each other, there's no beauty to be found.
I want to make you smile, but I don't know what to do,
So I wrap myself in blankets and sit and cry for you.
The world has gotten smaller, the older that I've got,
And after learning more, I know that I don't know a lot.
I'm trying to understand, but it's not making any sense,
And everyone around lives like it's of no consequence.
Maybe I'm too concerned about things that don't matter at all;
Maybe I'm mistaking big things for things that are very small.
I want to make it better, but I don't know what to do,
So I hide myself in the dark and I sit and cry for you.

Why I Disappeared

Our talks have been one sided
For much, much too long,
So I don't think that you'll notice
When I'm suddenly just gone.
I know sometimes you're busy;
I guess I've gotten in your way,
But six months become two years,
And I'm out of things to say.
There's no room for me in your world;
It's time I stopped pretending.
But nothing hurts me more
Than a friendship when it's ending.
I finally thought I knew you;
What did I get so close for?
We don't even say enough
To end in goodbye anymore.
Now there's only silence,
And I'm not sure if we're friends,
Or if we've fallen back
To just acquaintances again.
It's not that I'm angry;
You've done nothing wrong.
I'm just not sure why I'm staying
When you're already gone.

Where I'd Begin

What if I never wake up?
And worse, what if I do?
What if you're all I think about
And I never tell you?
What if I hurt myself?
What if I'm hurting you?
If you were me, be honest,
What do you think you'd do?
Sometimes I hate the sunlight.
Sometimes I hate the dark.
Sometimes I can't feel anything
Because I haven't got a heart.
I don't want to be lonely,
But I want to be alone.
I want to get out of here,
But I don't want to go.
Your smile breaks my heart,
And your laughter burns my skin,
And if I had to tell you how I feel,
That's where I'd begin.

I'm Not Afraid Of Goodbyes Anymore

Hello.
Yes, I remember you,
But I think it's best you don't come in.
Why yes,
It's been a long, long time,
But I wouldn't call you my old friend.
Oh yes,
I missed you for awhile;
You could have come back long ago,
But you didn't, and I think it's time
That you know;
I'm not afraid of goodbyes anymore.
I've been better off since you told me yours.
Yes, it hurt awhile;
It was hard to see you leave,
But until now,
You've never cared about me.
And now I realize how fake you were all along,
I think I'm better off with you gone,
Gone, gone, gone.
Oooh...
It was good of you to drop by
After such a long, long, long time.
It too ages just for me to cross your mind,
But you can leave now,
Because it's finally crossed mine,
That I'm better off alone;
It's just taken time to let go,
And if you'd let me I would like to forget
All about you and the times we had.
I'm not crying because it's hard to see you go;
I'm just relieved that I can finally let you know
I'm not afraid of goodbyes anymore,
Because I've been stronger
Since you told me yours.
I guess I can thank you
For showing me,
Sometimes the only way to heal
Is to let somebody leave.
No, I'm not afraid of goodbyes anymore;
And I don't plan on giving back yours.
I finally realized how fake you were all along,
And now I think I'm better of with you gone.
Oooh....
Gone.
Gone, gone, gone, gone.
No, no, no, I'm not afraid
Of goodbyes.

Giving Away

I'm not so bright,

And I'm not so pretty;

I've given up the idea

That anyone could love me.

But I don't want to be alone, 

So you can break me down the middle;

You don't have to love me,

Just stitch me up with your needle.

And is that really all that we want?

To hurt and then apologize;

See our pain in someone else's eyes,

Knowing sorry can't make it go away?

That's not what I was looking for,

But that's all that cupid's giving away.

I'll say I'm okay,

But I'm not alright;

You'll tell me you love me,

But we only ever fight.

I would stand up to you,

But I'm much too little,

And I need you to sew up

This tear you made down my middle.

And is that really all that we want?

To hurt and then apologize;

See our pain in someone else's eyes,

Knowing sorry can't make it go away?

That's not what I was looking for,

But that's all that cupid's giving away.

You tell me lies;

I try to believe you.

I keep on staying,

But I don't know why I do.

I just don't want to be alone,

So I let you break me down the middle,

Then you tell me you love me,

And stitch me up with your needle.

Is that really all you wanted?

To hurt and then apologize;

To see your pain reflected in my eyes,

Knowing it will never go away?

That's not what I was looking for,

But that's all that you're giving away.

Don't wanna say things I can't mean,

But that's all that I know how to say.

That's all that we're giving away;

Giving away.

Leaving Is A Kind Of Love

Leaving is a kind of love
That you don't understand,
And you tell me that it's wrong,
But it's the only kind I have.
I just want to protect you;
You say that's not my right.
I lay awake for hours
Worrying over it at night.
Leaving is a kind of love
That you don't believe in,
But if it isn't real,
Then what is this I'm feeling?
You tell me I don't trust you;
You couldn't be more wrong.
The person I don't trust
Has been me all along.

These Songs

I don't know why I'm writing;

I've nothing new to say,

And I try to make the words beautiful, 

But they don't come out that way.

I read them over and over,

And my friends tell me that they're fine,

But deep inside, I still know

That the words just aren't right.

I haven't written in ages,

And I don't really want to try,

But it's better to put pen to paper

Then to let strangers see me cry.

I don't know what I'm doing;

This feels like a mistake.

You'll get the wrong idea;

But there are worse mistakes to make.

I'm all out of ideas;

Well, ideas that are good,

And maybe I shouldn't share them,

Even if I could.

They're stronger than I thought they were,

These words that I've used,

They're too painful, raw, and real.

To show them all to you.

I want to hide these songs;

I don't want to be them.

I'll keep them in the dark inside,

Where no one else can see them.

Words Aren't Everything

She thinks if she stops smiling

The world stops spinning;

Someone has to keep the mood light.

She loves her job,

Most of the time,

But some days it doesn't feel right.

Tired all day,

But she can't sleep;

She can't seem to shut off her brain.

She sees her friends;

They ask how she's been,

And she doesn't know what to say.
Words used to be so simple;
You just say what you mean.
But she got older and discovered
That words aren't everything.

Dead Men Don't Sing

Could be in your car with the radio on;

Could be tuned in to our favorite song.

Could be caroling with my hand in yours;

Ringing bells and knocking on doors.

Could be crying cause we had a fight;

Could be dancing in the rain all night.

But dead men don't sing;

Dead men don't sing.

Don't tell me all your dreams went up in flames,

And there's no point in trying again;

Don't you know I'll miss you if you're gone?

Don't tell me that you're burned out,

And all you got from life was doubt;

Is that all that you think our friendship was?

Dead men can't say a thing;

So sing, sing, sing.

So sing, sing, sing.

Could be on your bed with your eyes closed;

Could be running off, crying all alone.

Could be with your friends at 2am,

Feeling like your life's put together again.

Could be out of tune because you've been ill;

Could be quiet because the air's so still.

But dead men don't sing;

Dead men don't sing.

Don't tell me all your dreams went up in flames,

And there's no point in trying again;

Don't you know I'll miss you if you're gone?

Don't tell me that you're burned out,

And all you got from life was doubt;

Is that all that you think our friendship was?

Dead men can't say a thing;

So sing, sing, sing.

So sing, sing, sing.