Can You Believe? Second Draft/Long Version

+Alena Grobien  +Alena Grobien   I completed your challenge, but I don't think you'll like the results.

Can you believe

I could talk to you

And not tell you how I feel?

Smile and laugh

At all your jokes

And try to tell myself it's not read?

Can you believe

That I could love you

And not want to be loved back?

Try my best

Not to look at you;

Let my heart break just like that?

It doesn't make sense

To most people,

But maybe I'm

Not right in the head.

I think you'd be better off

Without me;

Sometimes I think

I'd be better of dead.

Can you believe

I could be so stupid,

And leave it all unsaid?

Can you believe

I'd ignore my best friend

And avoid her at all cost?

She's always been

Right there for me

But I've given myself up for lost.

Can you believe

I wouldn't call her back,

Or answer her e-mails,

And complain about her,

And cry to myself,

And tell myself I've failed?

It doesn't make sense

To most people,

But maybe I'm

Not right in the head.

I know she's better off

Without me,

And maybe I

Don't need any friends.

Can you believe

I could be such a jerk,

And just walk away like that?

Can you believe

I would hide from my family,

And not care what they think?

That I'd go for a walk

And not come back,

Leaving dishes in the sink?

Can you believe

I'd lock my bedroom door,

And not say what's wrong,

And stare a a blank

Sheet of notebook paper,

Because I've forgotten how to put it in song?

It doesn't make sense

To most people,

But maybe I'm

Not right in the head.

I bet they'd be

Better off without me;

So say the voices

In my head.

Can you believe

I could be so lost

I cut even my family off?

The fact is that

I don't hate them;

I'm trying to avoid a fight.

I love them, but I'm a bad person,

And I'm trying to make things right.

Can you believe

I'd give up on myself,

Like it's the only option left?

That I feel

Numb and dead on the inside,

And just want to stay in bed?

Can you believe

That I'm so alone

I don't even have myself?

You can't just

"Choose to be happy"

Or I'd have figured that out myself.

It doesn't make sense

To most people,

But maybe I'm

Not right in the head.

I can't trust myself

Anymore;

I've got to trust

God instead.

Can you believe

That I'm trying to believe in love,

And this is where it's led?

Can You Believe? First Draft

+Alena Grobien +Alena Grobien  I completed your challenge, but I don't think you'll like the results.

Can you believe

That I could love you

And not want to be loved back?

That I'd say I'm happy

And don't need help

And not mean a word of that?

It might sound crazy

To a healthy person,

But maybe I'm not right in the head.

Can you just try to believe me,

Even if you don't understand

A word I've said?

Down By The Water

(A song I wrote for "Goose Feathers.")

Down by the water where the snakes swim,

She promised, she promised,

She promised to meet him.

Down by the water in the dark of night,

The moon shone, the moon shone,

On their secret its light.

“Don't think, my darling, and don't run away;

I promise, I promise,

We'll marry one day.”

Down by the water where bare feet tread

Slipping, and sliding, until she lay dead.

Down by the water where they promised to meet,

The moon shone, the moon shone,

On her bitten feet.

Confusion and terror, and telling of lies,

And a whisper, soft whisper,

“I'm sorry. Goodnight.”

Down by the water time has gone by;

Daughters forgotten, promises die,

But still people meet, and joy may be found,

In daylight, by sunlight,

With love all around...

It's Dark In Here; Goodnight, Goodnight

It's dark in here;

I can't sleep.

I've numbed my heart,

So it can't see.

I lie to you

To lie to me.

We're not okay;

I can't be free.

I'm so alone.

I'm so sorry.

I just don't know,

When to let it be.

I'm falling fast,

I'm breaking slow;

I just can't seem

To let it go.

No, no you're wrong.

I know you are.

I have to keep

Your heart unscarred.

Lock it up,

Lock it up tight;

Throw away the key,

And let's not fight.

I'm okay;

No, no I'm not.

But you can't see

Me fall apart.

I'm wrong for you;

Are you wrong for me?

I toss and turn;

I cry; I dream.

No, no, no,

Something's not right.

It's dark in here;

Goodnight... Goodnight...

I'm So Sorry (Can't Ask You To Forgive Me)

(This song is like one huge editing note... :P )

I'm so sorry;

I know the fault is mine.

I can finally see

That I wasn't right;

I can't say I didn't mean it at the time,*

But if I could,

You know I'd turn back time.

Forgive me!

I can't ask you to forgive me

When I can't forgive myself;

I'll understand completely

If you put me back on the shelf.

You're better off alone,

And I'll feel less guilty

If the only one I'm hurting

In the future is me.

I'm so sorry;

I know I let you down.

You made me your queen of hearts,

And I threw away the crown. **

You were my friend;

You were always there for me.

You needed my friendship/help/hand,***

And I hid in the sea. ****

Forgive me!

How could you forgive me

When I almost let you drown?*****

I wish that I was everything

That you think of me,

But I'm just a terrible person/friend,

Who can't bear to set you free.******

*last night?

** You gave me your heart, (And) I turned your smile upside down/to a frown?

*** I took your paddle/life vest and sent you off to sea?

**** (And) I (let you get) lost (you) at sea?

***** let you down?

******Who's terribly lucky? Who's got to learn to let you be? Who's love is poisoning?

Oh Well

( This is definitely going to need editing. It's just a bunch of incoherent sentences right now. Hey. I was tired. :P )

Oooooh hell.

I don't know what I'm doing;

I feel like I've messed up somehow.

But oooooh well;

You win some and you lose some.

I guess that I'll just sit this one out.

I don't need to tell you why;

Maybe I don't know.

I've thought I'd given up so many times,

But I just can't let go.

Do you know what I mean?

I'm so sorry.

Ooooooh hell. 

I don't know what I'm trying to say,

And I feel like I need you to understand.

But oooooh well;

Even if you knew,

 I can't guarantee things will go as planned.

You Lost Someone

You lost a friend today;

Maybe more than a friend.

You were dreaming about next time

And didn't expect it to end.

They were always there for you;

A shoulder or a hand,

And you still plan to tell them things,

'Cause you forget every now and then.

REFRAIN

And you fall down crying on the floor,

Because you can't hear their innocent laugh anymore.

Sometimes you wannt be mad,

But you know that you can't;

You just wish you'd known sooner what you had,

Instead of realizing now that it's too late

How much you've lost and what you wish you had said.

You lost someone today;

Maybe you've lost it all.

Now you can't stop looking over your shoulder,

Because you think you hear them call.

You know that everyone dies,

But it's still no easy.

You didn't get to say goodbye;

You never expect to lose somebody.

REFRAIN

You lost something today;

Maybe your life-long love.

People try to tell you that it gets better,

But right now that isn't enough.

Nothing can distract you;

Your heart's broken in half.

So maybe you saw it coming;

Nothing can really prepare you for that.

REFRAIN

I Can't Stay

*Needs Editing*

Every time we start to get close,

I get scared and let it go.

I start to think I should leave;

Just give up, give you space to breathe,

Even though you say

You want me to stay.

Every time I get close to someone,

I end up saying something all wrong;

You're too innocent to feel that kind of pain.

You may not see it right now,

But someday you'll figure out

You'll be much happier

When I'm out of your way.

REFRAIN

I can't stay, no, no,

I have to let you go.

Before your heart breaks, too,

Just like they always do.

I always think

That things have changed;

The only problem is

My jaded heart's the same.

Painting The Roses Red

You think you have friends

'Cause you try to fit in;

They're always lecturing

You.

You do what they tell you to;

You say what they want you to

You're scared to death

You won't paint all your roses red.

You're painting the roses red, red,

You're painting the roses red, red, red.

You're painting the roses,

You're painting the roses,

You're painting the roses red.

But I love you best when you act like you,

Telling jokes they say they don't get.

Take my hand, let me rescue you;

Stop painting your roses red.

You don't need to paint the roses red, red.

You don't need to paint the roses red, red, red.

You're painting the roses;

You're painting the roses.

No need to paint the roses red.

You put on your makeup like them;

You're trying to dress like them.

But I like you best when you're yourself;

You don't have to look* like anyone else.*

Come on, take my hand, and let's run.

Before they can get to our heads

We'll be gone.

No more painting the roses red.

No more painting the roses red, red,

No more painting the roses red, red, red.

You were painting the roses;

We were painting the roses.

No more painting the roses red.

I used to feel like that;

I thought they were all I had.

I tried changing myself,

But I've changed my mind,

And I promise I'm not

Gonna leave you behind.

I'm not painting my roses red.

I'm done painting the roses red, red,

I'm done painting the roses red, red, red.

I was painting the roses;

I'm done painting the roses.

No more painting the roses red.

*act? be?

*You look like no one else?

Wish We Knew It Back When

I'm thinking of adding to/ editing this one, but I'm kind of not having any ideas right now. My mind and work have been very preoccupied with other things. I'm hoping to make thing month a "Guest Writers" month and take a break from writing myself, so please, feel free to share your songs and poetry, or even your short stories or artwork if you'd like! :)

I used to think there was always a right choice;

Used to wonder, used to worry if I knew what it was.

Now I'm looking off the edge at the choices I've made,

And I'm starting to think it could've gone many ways.

REFRAIN

It's okay, kay, kay, kay, kay, kay,

Yeah.

It's okay, kay, kay, kay, kay, kay,

Yeah.

I didn't blow it;

You didn't blow it.

We made it through it;

I wish we knew it then.

I wish we knew it back when.

I used to think I had no right to say what I thought;

Used to think that everything I did was wrong.

Now I'm looking at the smiles on so many faces,

And I'm thinking just maybe I'm gonna go places.

REFRAIN